City Officials Remind Residents Find It, Fix It App Not Intended to Be Used on City Councilmembers
Citing five crashes of the popular Find It, Fix It app since five new City Council members were sworn in and Sara Nelson was...
‘This 8-Inch Road Divider Is a Trump Border Wall,’ Says Man Just Elected to 4-Year Term as Comedy Gold
In a show of incredible civic dedication, today West Seattle man Rob Saka kicked off his four-year term of being local comedy gold by...
Look of Disappointment in Father’s Eyes is Gift Enough, Says Bellevue High Goth
After weeks of struggling to figure out what his son really wants for Christmas, Bellevue High School goth Brennan Kowalski assured his father that...
New Off-leash Baby Park to Open in Capitol Hill
After years of complaints about parents letting their babies roam around off-leash in Capitol Hill’s Cal Anderson Park, today the City of Seattle announced...
Mt. Rainier Suffers Seasonal Affective Disorder, Will Winter in Tucson
Saying 500,000 years is long enough, Mt. Rainier announced today it’s relocating to the desert Southwest gem of Tucson, Ariz. for the winter.
“I...
Voters Pass Mental Healthcare Levy for People Who Always Think They’re Gonna Find Parking on Capitol Hill
Today’s latest ballot drop confirmed Seattle voters have approved a long-needed levy aimed at boosting mental health resources specifically for people who always think...
Sound Transit Board Announces Projected Date for Appointing New CEO Is 2045
Following the unexpected and early resignation of Sound Transit CEO Julie Timm on Tuesday, this morning the Sound Transit Board announced the projected date...
County Looks to Increase Voter Turnout by Dragging Your Ass to the Dropbox Themselves
In a desperate attempt to raise King County’s sad, off-year voter turnout, poll workers for the November general election are being tasked with physically...
‘Wow, It’s Getting Late in the Year,’ Say Seattleites Hoping Sun Will Finally Take a Fucking Hint
After agreeing they had a lovely time together, today people all over Seattle are talking about how close we’re getting to winter in hopes...
Seattle Voters Already Disappointed by City Council They Just Elected
Moments after the Seattle City Council race was certified today, a collective groan could be heard throughout the Emerald City.
“When I voted for Joy...
