Local Icebreaker Ship Just Sitting There Not Breaking ICE Faces Open
Despite the all-hands-on-deck situations Americans are facing at home and abroad, local Icebreaker ship USCGC "Cutter" Healy is reportedly just sitting there at its...
Nation Agrees Your Tiny, One-Road Country Town Definitely The One Getting Nuked by Iran
In a rare showing of national unity, the entire country has come together today to agree that your minuscule, strategically insignificant town is fucking...
Help SPD Name Its New Urban Warfare Tank!
Wealth inequality is at an all-time high, underfunded schools are closing, and the city's unhoused population is exploding. Thankfully we live in one of...
Pod of Orcas Ignored as Ferry Passengers Marvel at Rare Cargo Ship Entering Port of Seattle
Lucky ferry passengers, who were almost too distracted by a pod of orcas breaching in Elliott Bay to notice, caught a rare glimpse today...
Seattle City Council Begins Ethics Code Meeting with Brand Acknowledgment
Before introducing a bill to dismantle its financial conflict of interest ethics code, the Seattle City Council began its meeting today with a brand...
WSDOT Investigated for Alleged Ties to MS Paint
The Trump administration confirmed today that it is investigating everyone on the WSDOT social media and comms team for their alleged ties to MS...
Report: Seattle Still Absolute Hellhole
Several urban experts walking around the Emerald City today issued a report verifying that every part of Seattle is in fact still obviously an...
Bezos’ Balls Reported Missing After Amazon Backs Down on Listing Tariff Charges
Bezos' Balls reportedly went missing in Seattle today according to a poster being circulated online just a few hours after Amazon backed down on...
Waterfront Homeowners Demand City Drain Lake Washington to Prevent Nudity at Denny Blaine Beach
A group of waterfront homeowners announced this week that they will be suing the City of Seattle after it refused to prevent legal nudity...
Car-Free Pike Place Market Just Not Same without Threat of Being Run Over
Pedestrians strolling Pike Place Market Wednesday—the first day of it being temporarily closed to public car traffic through the summer—say shopping and hanging out...
