As the Seattle City Council approved a giant expansion of surveillance cameras across the city Tuesday, every local civil rights group and citizen who opposed it were assured it won’t be abused by the federal government, only the local one.
“Look, I understand the fears that our increasingly authoritarian federal government could take information from our own city funded and installed surveillance system to even better abuse people of color and immigrants who live here because they’ve very much done it at the state level with Medicaid data already,” said Councilmember Bob Kettle. “But I can promise you we have shaped this pilot surveillance program so that it can only be abused by the police department that had the most officers of any police department nationwide in D.C. on Jan. 6.”
Asked how they would ensure specifically only local fascists use the information to stalk their romantic partners and racially profile people, Councilmembers Joy Hollingsworth, Rob Saka, Maritza Rivera, Sara Nelson, Debora Juarez, Mark Solomon and Bob Kettle didn’t have any details but were really hurt anyone even asked.
“We promise! That’s how. Wow, your lack of faith in us is disturbing,” said Sara Nelson as she telekinetically choked someone in the back who laughed. “As we’ve shown again and again through our obvious use of ChatGPT for public communication, we are very tech-savvy and [something more left-leaning].”
Tired of the disrespect from the large group that came to oppose the citywide surveillance camera expansion, the seven Seattle City Councilmembers who approved it said they will now only go to work wearing gator face masks.
