In perhaps his greatest move of desperation for his mayoral campaign yet, today Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell boarded his first bus ride ever to woo supporters of Transit Riders Union co-founder Katie Wilson to vote for him instead.
“Hello, my fellow public transit riders! Boy I love bus, especially Route 8—what a quick and convenient way to get about town!” said Harrell as riders kept their eyes glued to their phones. “It’s so cool they have buses now that feel like they’re not even moving at all for some reason. Isn’t technology great? What a great place to have conversations and remind everyone, in case you didn’t know, I went to Garfield and played football at UW!”
The mayor’s staff scurried down the bus aisle quietly trying to encourage bus riders to applaud for the mayor.
“This is a really big deal for our mayor and our city. He loves transit, right? Could you please clap for him? How about you ma’am, just a little clap for our brave mayor? You sir? How about you in the back, applaud please. He’s a brave leader for you,” Mayor Harrell’s staffer pleaded. “Anyone? Anyone? You? No? How about you? Or you? Nope? Please help me out here. I don’t want to deal with a sad mayor all day. Please, someone just give him a little clap. We just have a couple more hours hopefully of this.”
At press time Bruce Harrell was seen also riding his first streetcar and having the time of his life finding out what some people call the one in South Lake Union.
