New Supercharged Light Rail Escalators Launch Passengers Straight From Northgate to Angle Lake
Ahead of the new northside stations opening this summer, today Sound Transit announced that it has upgraded its escalators with a supercharger that will launch commuters on an express route from Northgate to Angle...
Boeing Execs Sneak Into Museum of Flight to See What A Safe 737 Looked Like
Under pressure to improve Boeing’s safety reputation, today Boeing executives quietly visited the Museum of Flight to see the only remaining Boeing 737 that was built correctly.
“Wow, look at all the rivets! It’s like...
White Man in Uwajimaya Saves Day With Kewpie Mayo Recommendation
Today a helpless woman who looked like she had no idea what she was doing in the exotic aisles of Uwajimaya, Seattle’s best Asian grocery store, was rescued by a cultured and learned white...
‘You Didn’t See Shit,’ Local Says to California Tourist Witnessing Sunny Seattle Spring
As locals basked in sunshine utterly surrounded by greenery, flowers, sparkling waters, and unbeatable snow-capped mountain views almost too beautiful together to be true, one visitor from California witnessing Seattle’s alleged secret spring was...
Couple Discovers Completely New Way To Get Lost at Discovery Park
Achieving what was once thought impossible after years of countless walks there together, today one local pioneering couple discovered yet another way to get lost at Discovery Park.
“Up until today, experts were absolutely sure...
Tourist Trying Not to Look Like Tourist on Tourist Trip
Sources report that after planning a weekend getaway to Seattle from Sunnyvale, California, tourist Jane Simmons’ main objective on her trip this weekend is to not to look like a tourist on her tourist...
SoDo Costco Adds Second Gas Station Across Parking Lot for Members Who Empty Tanks Circling for a Parking Spot
Today the SoDo Costco officially opened a second gas station on the other end of its parking lot to help out customers who keep emptying their tanks while looking for a parking spot.
“The days...
Eldest Daughter Expecting Full Mother’s Day Brunch for National Siblings Day Disappointed Again
Eldest daughters nationwide awoke today expecting to smell the sweet scent of fresh cinnamon rolls and scrambled eggs of a full Mother’s Day Brunch on National Siblings Day, only to once again be met...
City Planner Regrets Layout of New Ridgefield Strip Mall
Excitement for Washington state’s first In-N-Out location near Vancouver was deflated today after the Ridgefield City Planner realized the unfortunately suggestive layout of the new strip mall it would be going into.
“The nearby homeowners’...
Orcas Launch Human Watching Tours
After scoping out several hot spots to take orca pods near Seattle shores recently, today marine biologists and several Seattle residents confirmed orcas have indeed launched their own human-watching tours to learn more about...
