Orcas Offer Food to Humans After Becoming Aware of the Horror That Is the Seattle Hot Dog
Marine mammal researchers at the University of Washington have determined the likely cause for orcas bringing food to boaters is a primal disgust and...
Idiot Buys Blackberries at the Store
Several sources are reporting that a local idiot allegedly drove and walked straight past no less than three million free ripe blackberries growing literally...
Childless Couple Asked to Leave Columbia City Farmers Market
Today a couple who had the audacity to sit on a nearby picnic blanket eating fresh, local fruits and goodies in peace was kicked...
Plot to Force Venice Bezos Wedding Relocation Onto Yacht All Going According to Plan
Protesters say a plot to force Jeff Bezos’ wedding to relocate from any of Venice's famous landmarks onto a yacht is all going according...
Minnesota Dad Unconvinced That Seattle Isn’t on the Coast
Despite pleadings from a son who has lived in Seattle for more than a decade, Minnesota father of five Tim Edwards remains resolute in...
McMenamins to Challenge Itself by Restoring Historic Tacoma K-Mart
Oregon-based McMenamins—known for restoring historic PNW properties into nostalgia-packed bars and hotels—announced today they’re going to fuck around with an abandoned K-Mart in Tacoma...
Bezos Honors Amazon Workers by Toasting with Employee Pee Bottle
In a heartfelt tribute to the workforce that made his empire possible, today Amazon founder Jeff Bezos raised a vintage bottle of Amazon employee...
Enumclaw Bar Protests Seattle PrideFest with HorseFest
This weekend Enumclaw cowboy bar Ol’ Whips and Chains Watering Hole said it’s countering Seattle’s PrideFest celebration with its first and far more wholesome...
Line at Dick’s Taking Longer Than Blue Origin Celebrity Spaceflight
Scores of customers waiting forever in line at Dick’s came to the sobering realization today that by the time they finally get their Deluxes...
Local Conservative Clarifies He’s Only Okay with Wearing Masks to Ruin Lives, Not Save Them
Today a local conservative and ICE agent who cried bloody murder when asked to wear a mask during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic...
