Caffé Vita Relents; Employees Can Now Give Pastries To Homeless If Thrown Really Hard
In response to the firing of ten employees for the grotesque shame the company suffered when rogue baristas recklessly distributed old coffee and stale pastries to the city’s vulnerable homeless population, Caffé Vita announced...
Seattle Aquarium Unveils Thanksgiving ‘Orc-Porp-Phin’ Feast for Wealthy Donors
A clandestine Thanksgiving tradition was uncovered this week, as intrepid Needling reporters revealed that a cabal of wealthy Seattle Aquarium donors were treated to an Orc-Porp-Phin feast comprised of three endangered aquatic mammals tastefully...
PCC Markets to Host Gluten-Themed Haunted House
Local clean-eating co-op grocer PCC Community Markets announced today that every Saturday in October they’ll be transforming its Fremont store into a spooky haunted house called “Frankenfood Manor.”
“You start in an aisle labelled...
Seattle Pizza Week Extended to Seattle Pizza Year for Dave
Citywide purveyors of Seattle Pizza Week’s $2 slice extravaganza have confirmed that last week’s annual event has officially been extended into Pizza Year for Dave.
“Yeah,
I think this is – what is it? About...
Everett Bikini Barista Stand Revealed As Stealth Starbucks
A full decade after the Capitol Hill 15th Avenue Coffee & Tea Raid of 2009, the Stealth Starbucks concept has struck again – this time in Everett where raging customers just discovered the truth...
Local Psychopaths Camping This Weekend
According to inside sources, certified crazy people Shyan Burke and Mikaela Hopkins of Fremont have already headed up to the mountains this weekend to “get back to nature."
Fellow Fremont resident Ruby told The Needling
that...
Man Takes Son to Niagara Falls
This weekend a local father and son bonded before the thundering and majestic waters of Niagara Falls, located just 45 minutes east of Seattle.
“We didn’t load up on Fig Newton carbs during our...
Tech Worker Rejoices in 2 for $16 Avocado Sale
An unlikely surprise awaited Amazon employee Hayden Markwell when he walked into South Lake Union’s Whole Foods Market this afternoon.
“Oh shit: Guess who's bringing in the green now?” said Markwell as he rolled...
Cute: This DoorDash User Thinks Food Delivery Guy Actually Got His Tip
In a display of utter cuteness today, Greenwood resident Matt Prescott adorably paid a gracious in-app tip intended for his DoorDash delivery guy, actually trusting the Silicon Valley-founded company running the app wouldn’t fully...
Area Cafe Really Pushing It With New Wood Milk
In a bold move, Madison Park’s Cafe Ohm has thrown its hat into the fierce dairy substitute menu game with its newest alternative, wood milk.
“We were looking for something our Chaturangas could really Dandasana...
