SeaTac Airport Cell Phone Lot Officially Classified as New Portal to Hell
In a joint press conference today, the FAA and Vatican confirmed that those selflessly waiting in the Sea-Tac Airport Cell Phone Lot to pick up friends and family have entered a space now officially...
5 Essentials for Cozy Fall Weekend Camping in the Left Lane
Temperatures may be dipping and more rain be dripping, but none of that has to stop you from taking your time to enjoy a fun and cozy weekend out camping in the left lane....
Ballard Resident Prepares for Weekend Road-trip to Beacon Hill
Determined to be prepared for the long journey ahead, today Ballard resident Claudia Davis spent the evening carefully planning for her big road trip this weekend all the way to Beacon Hill.
“Don’t get me...
White Man in Uwajimaya Saves Day With Kewpie Mayo Recommendation
Today a helpless woman who looked like she had no idea what she was doing in the exotic aisles of Uwajimaya, Seattle’s best Asian grocery store, was rescued by a cultured and learned white...
WTA Unveils Rattlesnake Ledge FastPass
The Washington Trails Association surprised hikers crowding the trailhead of the Rattlesnake Ledge today with its new crowd-management tool, a Disney-sponsored FastPass system.
“It’s always about as crowded up here as Disneyland, so we finally...
Ivar’s Restaurants Release 50,000 Pounds of Fried Prawns Back Into Ocean For Earth Day
In an impassioned and excessive display of environmentalism, local restaurant chain, Ivar’s, released 50,000 pounds of fried prawns into the Puget Sound for Earth Day.
Studies have shown that, similar to humans, the Earth itself...
Tucker Carlson Questions Why Dark Meat Needs to Be Served at Thanksgiving
Ahead of the long holiday weekend, today Fox News host Tucker Carlson said on his nationally televised program he just wanted to know why every year more of the liberal elite insist that dark...
Dog Scientists Recommend Leaving Thanksgiving Turkey Unattended for 5 Minutes
As the nation prepares for Thanksgiving festivities, a panel of dog scientists released an official statement today recommending that you should leave the turkey completely unattended for the next five minutes while you go...
Cranky Mom On Vacation Actually Did Have Sand In Vagina
Doctors have successfully removed a record two pounds of glistening white sand from a Seattle woman after she returned from her family vacation to Mexico.
For two weeks, Seattle mother Celine Jefferson’s attempts to tell...
Man Smoking Outside Cafe Warns Against Eating Meat
Puffing Winston Lights as he leaned back in the chair of a Capitol Hill cafe’s outdoor patio, local yoga instructor Mark Roeman educated his brother-in-law today on the multitude of benefits a meat-free lifestyle...
