Study Finds Seattle Is Best City for Pizza and for People Who Are Welcoming to Transplants
According to a new and completely credible study worth talking about by a random AI-powered company we’re not gonna look into and explain too...
Return-to-Office Order Obviously Just Layoff without Severance
This week thousands of local workers received a return-to-office five days a week notice via an e-mail from Amazon that was obviously just a...
Brewmaster Torn Apart By IPA Junkies Fiending For More Hops
Tragedy
struck a Georgetown brewery today as a beloved brewmaster was torn to shreds by
a ravenous pack of IPA addicts, fiending for more of the...
Seattle Finally Concedes Portland is the Better PNW City for Newcomers to Move to
The City of Seattle put years of debate to rest today when it finally and officially conceded that Portland is definitely the better major...
The Needling’s Online Real Fake Newsroom Workshop
Want to be a real fake news (satire) reporter too? Join The Needling’s virtual/online 3-week real fake newsroom workshop!
Dates: Wednesday nights of Oct. 7,...
Home Depot Unveils New Line of Succulents That Only Need Water Every Other Weekend for Divorced Plant Daddies
In an effort to cater to their growing divorced plant-daddy demo, today Home Depot announced a new line of “Split-Custody Cacti” that only require...
Mariners Announce Randy Johnson to Be Named Interim Moose
In a continual effort to remind the city that 1995 happened, today the Mariners announced that former pitcher Randy Johnson will be taking on...
City Council Confident You’ll Love Policies Passed from Secret Bunker
After making the unprecedented decision to completely end all in-person public comment in Seattle City Council Chambers, today Council President Sara Nelson said she’s...
Ballard Bridge Stuck, Halts Gentrification for 3 Hours
Today the century-old Ballard Bridge became stuck in the air at a near 90-degree angle due to a malfunctioning motor, halting all gentrification into...
Dave Matthews Sees Shadow at The Gorge, Predicts 6 More Weeks of Summer
Thousands converged upon The Gorge Labor Day Weekend for their annual pilgrimage to see if singer Dave Matthews would see his shadow—and he did,...
