Bird Watcher Caught Honestly Watching Birds
Controversy struck Green Lake Park today after a bird watcher was discovered honestly watching birds.“I rolled over to reapply my sunscreen when I saw...
Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs
Contrary to long-held claims made by an infamous Interstate 82 billboard, geographic experts at the prestigious Center for Obvious Studies shocked the world today...
Mount Si Celebrates Hosting One Millionth Second Date
State park rangers presented a surprised pair of hikers with a summit-top champagne toast today to celebrate the one-millionth second date held on the...
ICE Agent Still Not Sure He’s Wearing Baklava Right
Although one local ICE agent said he was initially happy to buy his own uniform and gear to carry out cruel extrajudicial crimes against...
Trump Demands to Be Considered a Holocaust Survivor
Jealous of the attention they got all day Tuesday for Holocaust Remembrance Day, President Donald Trump is now reportedly demanding to be considered a...
Protester Bites Off ICE Agent’s Micropenis
After getting mad at ICE just because they publicly executed ICU nurse Alex Pretti in the street for recording them with his iPhone, DHS...
‘I Would Never Live in That Hellhole City,’ Says Man Already Living in Moses Lake
An Eastern Washington man who took to social media today to bravely announce that he would “never live in that hellhole city” confused thousands...
West Seattle Woman Posting About Importance of Community Doesn’t Know Names of Any Neighbors
As unverified rumors of ICE agents in the Seattle area circulated and got more people thinking about what they’ll do if they really do...
Phew! Armed Racist Assholes in Bulletproof Vests Just Local Cops
Panic about ICE taking over Seattle en masse next settled down today after it was discovered the racist assholes in bulletproof vests rumored to...
Timeout: Blitz the Seahawk Attempting to Mate with the SkyCam Again
The Seattle Seahawks were forced to burn a timeout during their matchup with the 49ers tonight after mascot Blitz the Seahawk entered the field...
