Ken Jennings’ Post-Jeopardy Rampage Claims Pub Quiz, Spelling Bee as Insatiable Lust for Knowledge Continues
Fresh off of winning Jeopardy’s Greatest of All Time Tournament in
dominant fashion, newly crowned champion Ken Jennings reportedly spent last night
rampaging through Seattle on...
Bernie Sanders Uses Captive Tacoma Audience to Unveil One-Man Performance of ‘Cats’
Bernie Sanders’ historic Tacoma Dome rally took a strange
turn last night as he took the momentous opportunity to premiere a self-produced
one-man production of long-running...
Seattle Places Cardboard ‘Free’ Sign On Homeless Encampment In Hopes Portland Takes It
While many cities have taken more direct approaches to offloading their homeless problem to other cities such as providing bus tickets, Seattle has taken...
Seattle Selfie Museum Unveils Tasteful Dick Pic Gallery
Seattle’s newest vainglorious attraction, the Seattle Selfie
Museum, announced today that it’s unsheathing its latest interactive exhibition
this week just in time for Valentine’s Day: The...
Mucinex Booger Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom
With bated breath to avoid airborne infection, audiences watched
with awe as President Donald Trump awarded another Presidential Medal of
Freedom today to the legendary Mucinex...
Lake View Cemetery Pop-Up Christmas Market Actually Kinda Dope
Critics skeptical of the
controversial location for this weekend’s Lake View Cemetery Pop-up Christmas
Market were quickly quieted after realizing that it was actually kinda dope.
“I...
Office Dog Shamelessly Commits HR Violation in Middle of Sales Floor
A Seattle office has been torn apart today as the resident office dog,
Mr. Puddles, was suspended from all adorable duties after committing a wanton
HR...
Single Xmas-Light Tumbleweed Rolls Down Abandoned Leavenworth Main Street
An eerie quiet has fallen over the
festive town of Leavenworth as holiday crowds have abandoned the snowbound
mountain hamlet, leaving only a lone, tangled tumbleweed...
Former Boeing CEO Awarded $62M Golden Parachute for Successfully Facilitating Exit of 346 Lives
To thank him for an unforgettably clever corporate psychopathy that tested the limits of how many people a multi-billion-dollar company could kill without legal...
UW Students Protest New ‘Bowser Center for Esports’ Arena Named For Historic Tyrant
The University of Washington’s new
Esports arena has found itself mired in controversy following the decision to
name it for Bowser, who many with any common...
