Family Flees Airbnb After Ghost Writes Bloody List of Chores on Wall
One local family fled for their lives this weekend after a ghost haunting their Airbnb scrawled a bloody list of household chores they were...
Man Dressed as Gandalf in Bikini Grossly Misunderstands ‘Sexy Fantasy’ Theme at Halloween Party
Standing out amongst a sea of scantily clad nurses and pizza deliverymen, one man allegedly gruesomely misunderstood the “sexy fantasy” theme at a local...
Report: 87% of Boomer Scary Stories Start ‘Once Upon a 3rd and Pine’
As the countdown to Halloween continues, a new report revealed that 87% of Boomer scary stories reliably start with ‘Once Upon a Third and...
Russell Wilson Quietly Hoping There’s Also ‘Denver Freeze’ to Explain Lack of Fans
Following Russell Wilson’s chilly reception to start the Denver chapter of his career, the quarterback is reportedly hoping there’s also a “Denver Freeze” to...
Man Clearly Trying to Shazam Song at Funeral
After being given the benefit of the doubt for a full minute that he just had T-Mobile or something, a group of mourners realized...
Tucker Carlson Questions Why Dark Meat Needs to Be Served at Thanksgiving
Ahead of the long holiday weekend, today Fox News host Tucker Carlson said on his nationally televised program he just wanted to know why...
Green Lake Paddle Boarders Spotted Migrating I-5 South for Winter
Nature lovers rejoiced in Seattle today as massive flocks of Green Lake-native paddle boarders started their annual migration I-5 South to warmer California climes.
“Nature...
Local Casanova Comes to Bed Wearing Nothing but ‘I Voted’ Sticker
With election results expected to pour in long into the night, one local Casanova wooed his lover by coming to bed wearing nothing but...
Howard Schultz Crashes Wedding to Stop Marital Union from Being Recognized
Howard Schultz’s anti-union crusade continued today after the interim Starbucks CEO crashed a local wedding to prevent the couple’s marital union from being recognized.
“I...
Seattle Residents Forced to Seek Refuge Underground as Leaf Blowers Render Surface Uninhabitable
Just when Seattleites thought it was safe to go outside after this month’s Smokepocalypse, weary residents have been forced to seek refuge underground as...
