Seattle Man Gets ‘Death Before Umbrella’ Tattoo
One local man forever enshrined his hardcore Seattle pride in ink today after heading to a nearby tattoo shop and getting a “Death Before...
Amazon Welcomes Employees Back to Office with New Bunk Desks
Amazon workers returning for their mandatory three days per week back into the office were met with a surprise today after discovering that the...
Washington Lawmakers Scrap Free School Lunches for All, Encourage Children to Forage at Recess
Although Washington state legislators recently scrapped a plan to join California, Colorado, Minnesota, and Maine in offering universal free school lunches to all children,...
Working Class Heroes: This Orca Pod Decided to Literally Eat the Rich
In a stunning show of working-class solidarity, one determined local pod of orcas has taken inspiration from their European yacht-sinking cousins and decided to...
Man Always Thinks of Perfect Gun to Win Argument With Later in the Shower
Following a missed opportunity to finally exercise his Second Amendment rights during a heated traffic dispute today, one man lamented the fact that he...
Neighborhood Cats Rejoice as Bongos’ Giant Litter Box Opens for Spring
Green Lake-area cats have declared litter box season officially open after the beloved Caribbean restaurant Bongos Cafe opened its giant sand-covered patio for the...
‘So When Are You Going to Bless Me With Grandkids?’ Asks Local Mom Sparking Jumper Cables
As countless Mother’s Day visits inevitably turn to the subject of grandkids today, one local mom turned to more unconventional methods to gather intelligence...
SPD Flooded with Bereavement Requests Following Trump Indictment
Following the announcement that former President Donald Trump is now indicted on more than 30 counts related to business fraud, the Seattle Police Department...
Seattle’s Man Buns Blossom As Spring Finally Underway
Long tucked into beanies and snapbacks, Seattle’s man buns are finally emerging from their cotton cocoons and blossoming into waves of follicle foliage just...
Is It Actually Spring or Are You Being Sunlighted?
You know what they say: If you’re in a season that feels and looks too good to be true, it probably is. Here are...
