Man Wins Halloween Costume Contest Dressing as Metro Bus, Never Showing Up to Party
This weekend local man Matt Ellis absolutely crushed the costume competition at a friend's Halloween party by dressing up as a King County Metro Bus, and then never showing up.
“At first I was pissed,”...
Guy Who Kind of Knew Kurt Cobain Just Waiting for You to Ask About It
Patrons of Pioneer Square’s legendary Central Saloon are reporting that one of the bar’s regulars, a bearded man with flannel tied at his waist, is strongly giving off a distinct "ask me how I...
Eastern Washingtonians Upset They Can Only Be Anti-Semitic or Islamophobic
As the world reels from one massive tragedy to another, thousands of Eastern Washingtonians say they are mourning more innocent times when they didn’t have to choose between being anti-Semitic or Islamophobic.
“Just two months...
Local Teen Confused About Lack of Elf Bars, JUUL at Julefest
Identity obscured by a vape cloud, a local teen wondered aloud between fat rips and coughing fits about the lack of imported holiday-flavored Elf Bars and JUUL products at this weekend’s Julefest in Ballard.
“After...
This Week on KING5: Fall Fashions to Keep You From Being Run Over By Police at 3x the Speed Limit
Last week KING5 shared with you what fall fashions are totally out and not what to wear this season by being the first local news outlet to show you video of a young woman’s...
Festive Local Man Already Putting Out Winter Depression Decorations
Too excited to wait on getting in the spirit of his favorite part of rainy season, festive local man Daniel Langley admitted today he’s already putting out all his winter depression decorations.
“I couldn’t help...
Land Acknowledgment at Chihuly Garden & Glass Somehow Still About How Amazing Dale Chihuly Is
A little more than a decade after Chihuly Garden & Glass outmaneuvered a proposal for a Northwest Native Cultural Center at Seattle Center, today the museum unveiled a touching first land acknowledgment to the...
After Courageous 3-year Battle with Right-Wing Media, Seattle Dead at Age 172
Today—after waging a courageous, three-year battle against right-wing media determined to make “Seattle Is Dying” reality—Seattle officially died at the tender age of 172.
“She fought long and hard against the invasive ‘Seattle Is Dying’...
Awestruck Man Riding Great Wheel Could See House From Here If He Could Afford One
One awestruck man enjoying the view from the Great Wheel today exclaimed that he could probably see his house from all the way up here, if he could hypothetically afford one.
“The view is just...
Slutty Ron DeSantis Costumes Sell Out in Eastern Washington
Today the last Slutty Ron DeSantis costume in Eastern Washington was sold to one lucky customer at the Spirit Halloween store in Kennewick, Wash.
“It can be so hard to find sexy costumes in men’s...
