Tired of Shark Week Typecasting, Sharks Demand More Romantic Lead Roles
Fed up with the stereotyping perpetuated by popular entertainment like Shark Week, today a coalition of sharks demanded being given more romantic lead roles.
“All...
Houseboat Is Neither
Today local real estate agent Chelsea Perkins invited people looking to purchase both a house and boat to check out an adorable Eastlake houseboat,...
Man Comes Out As Bellevue Resident
After years of keeping who he truly is in hiding, today 33-year-old Tristan Scraggs officially came out to his Seattle friends and family as...
Slut Shaming? My Dog Bit the Mailman While He Was Wearing Those Hot Little Shorts
One man was left mortified today after his dog slut-shamed his local mail carrier while he was delivering the mail in those hot little...
Man Terrified New Friend Will Invite Him to Improv Show
After achieving the impossible dream of making a new friend as an adult, one local man confessed today that his desire for a new...
Lincoln Park Wildlife Was Actually Really Looking Forward to Those Pickleball Courts
After a group of West Seattleites recently won their months-long battle to keep Seattle Parks from constructing new pickleball courts in Lincoln Park because...
Pearl Jam Album Played Backwards Contains English Language
While searching for subliminal satanic commands, a young Spokane teenager was surprised to instead find discernible English words when playing Pearl Jam’s Yellow Ledbetter...
Bing Still Pretty Sure Millions of Former Google Search Engine Users Should Be Showing Up Any Time Now
After Google’s launch of its laughably inaccurate AI Overviews went so badly last week that users began checking out other search engines for the...
Area Reader Can’t Shut the Fuck Up About Silent Book Club
According to several friends, relatives and acquaintances, longtime area reader Allison Fentworth reportedly cannot shut the fuck up about her silent book club.
“Apparently, it’s...
How to Get Rid of Toxic Relationships by Becoming May Queen at Ballard’s Syttende Mai
There’s a lot of ways to get rid of toxic relationships according to your therapist, but none of them are quite as fun as...
