Portland Hipsters Become Republican to Keep Portland Weird
Ever committed to their “Keep Portland Weird” vows, this week all of Portland, Oregon’s hipsters accepted the new reality of what it now means...
Scarecrow Video Auctions Off Director’s Cut of Zapruder Film
As part of the Save Our Scarecrow fundraising campaign, Seattle's last video store has made the difficult Hail Mary-decision to auction off its rare...
Home Depot Unveils New Line of Succulents That Only Need Water Every Other Weekend for Divorced Plant Daddies
In an effort to cater to their growing divorced plant-daddy demo, today Home Depot announced a new line of “Split-Custody Cacti” that only require...
Capitol Hill Block Party Gives Annual Reminder to Residents Over 40 That It Is Time to Move to Ballard
Like salmon answering nature’s call to suddenly swim upstream to a new body of water, this weekend countless residents in their 40s were reminded...
Dave Matthews Sees Shadow at The Gorge, Predicts 6 More Weeks of Summer
Thousands converged upon The Gorge Labor Day Weekend for their annual pilgrimage to see if singer Dave Matthews would see his shadow—and he did,...
PAX West Attendees Devoured by GameShark
Today tragedy struck PAX West, the largest gaming convention on the West Coast, when a number of attendees were devoured by GameShark."I don't know...
Fall Bitches Already Fondly Gazing at Summer’s Sweet Demise
An entire month before the first day of autumn, the Pacific Northwest’s most cinnamon-popping, gourd-decorating fall bitches are reportedly already smiling at the crisp,...
‘You Are Not Alone,’ Whispers KEXP DJ Standing Right Behind You
Seeing the need to step up its mental health support for its loyal indie music radio listener community during such stressful political times, today...
Carhartt Beanie Slightly Cheaper Than Hair Transplant
After carefully weighing his options for handling his receding hairline, today local middle-aged man Wayne Gilbert said he opted for permanently wearing a Carhartt...
SeaTac 4th of July Fireworks Show Just Boeing Jets Taking Off from Airport
The delight of a dazzling SeaTac fireworks display quickly faded tonight when local spectators realized that the colorful explosions illuminating the Independence Day night...
