Eastern Washingtonians Upset They Can Only Be Anti-Semitic or Islamophobic
As the world reels from one massive tragedy to another, thousands of Eastern Washingtonians say they are mourning more innocent times when they didn’t have to choose between being anti-Semitic or Islamophobic.
“Just two months...
Local Teen Confused About Lack of Elf Bars, JUUL at Julefest
Identity obscured by a vape cloud, a local teen wondered aloud between fat rips and coughing fits about the lack of imported holiday-flavored Elf Bars and JUUL products at this weekend’s Julefest in Ballard.
“After...
Land Acknowledgment at Chihuly Garden & Glass Somehow Still About How Amazing Dale Chihuly Is
A little more than a decade after Chihuly Garden & Glass outmaneuvered a proposal for a Northwest Native Cultural Center at Seattle Center, today the museum unveiled a touching first land acknowledgment to the...
After Courageous 3-year Battle with Right-Wing Media, Seattle Dead at Age 172
Today—after waging a courageous, three-year battle against right-wing media determined to make “Seattle Is Dying” reality—Seattle officially died at the tender age of 172.
“She fought long and hard against the invasive ‘Seattle Is Dying’...
Slutty Ron DeSantis Costumes Sell Out in Eastern Washington
Today the last Slutty Ron DeSantis costume in Eastern Washington was sold to one lucky customer at the Spirit Halloween store in Kennewick, Wash.
“It can be so hard to find sexy costumes in men’s...
Quiz: Is That a Weird Barbie Costume or Just a Seattle Woman?
Watch out! Before you compliment someone on their amazing “Weird Barbie” costume, make sure they aren’t just a regular Seattle woman wearing an outfit that she wears every day. Take this quiz to confirm:...
Ignoring Dire Warnings, Seattle Public Library Obtains Only Remaining Copy of Necronomicon
Greenlake — Seattle Public Library officials unveiled their newest prestige purchase today: The last remaining copy of the Necronomicon.
“This acquisition really makes our catalog world-class,” said Seattle Public Library spokeswoman Thisely Sindler. “The Necronomicon’s...
Office Affirms Trans Woman’s Gender by Providing Her with Significantly Lower Salary
Today a local trans woman is celebrating working at a company so affirming of her gender that her first paycheck since coming out as a woman shows they’ve already dropped her pay by an...
Man Graduates from North Face to Arc’teryx Merchandise
Loved ones wiped away happy tears this morning as Seattle resident Tim Gilman cast aside his waterproof North Face hoodie and zipped on a new Arcteryx jacket.
“Artax gear is outfitted with all of alpine...
Ben Gibbard Cuts Back Bangs for Death Cab/Postal Service Shows, Sees Fans for First Time
In an unprecedented move since the beginning of his musical career almost three decades ago, this weekend Death Cab for Cutie and Postal Service frontman Ben Gibbard cut back his signature long curtain of...
