Office Affirms Trans Woman’s Gender by Providing Her with Significantly Lower Salary
Today a local trans woman is celebrating working at a company so affirming of her gender that her first paycheck since coming out as a woman shows they’ve already dropped her pay by an...
Man Graduates from North Face to Arc’teryx Merchandise
Loved ones wiped away happy tears this morning as Seattle resident Tim Gilman cast aside his waterproof North Face hoodie and zipped on a new Arcteryx jacket.
“Artax gear is outfitted with all of alpine...
Ben Gibbard Cuts Back Bangs for Death Cab/Postal Service Shows, Sees Fans for First Time
In an unprecedented move since the beginning of his musical career almost three decades ago, this weekend Death Cab for Cutie and Postal Service frontman Ben Gibbard cut back his signature long curtain of...
Child-free Couple Sticking It Out for the Dogs
Despite losing the spark for each other and subsequently much of life itself years ago, local child-free couple Jared and Alicia Hodges said today they remain resolute in their self-sacrificial decision to stick it...
Experts Find Brown Bear Tri-color Foam Car Wash Effective Alternative to Getting High
Leading scientists concluded in a study released today that splurging for a Brown Bear tri-color foam car wash is an effective alternative to getting high.
“I only had 15 minutes between leaving work and picking...
Crowd Cheers as Beyoncé Gets In Formation, Goes Full Lemonade on Fleet of SPD Cruisers
After a long week of waiting for anyone to punish Seattle police union leaders caught on tape laughing at the death of a young woman killed by another officer, Thursday night a relieved and...
Fallen Leaf Receives 12-hour Leaf Blower Salute
In a moving and touching tribute, today a lone fallen leaf received an entire 12-hour leaf-blower salute before being laid to rest by loyal local deciduous tree watchguard Fred Nederson.
“No single leaf is too...
Fall Bitches Already Fondly Gazing at Summer’s Sweet Demise
Three entire weeks before the first day of autumn, the Pacific Northwest’s most cinnamon-popping, gourd-decorating fall bitches are reportedly already smiling at the crisp, graying sky outside as they note every detail of summer’s...
“Seattle Freeze in Full Effect,” Declares Room of Transplants Not Speaking to Each Other
The Cleveland-born founder of the Seattle SuperThawNics — a new support group for lonely transplants unable to navigate their new home’s frigid, post-apocalyptic streets alone — says he’s putting an end to the Seattle...
Seattle Reggae Festival Books Real-Life Black Man
Proving its genuine commitment and respect to the historical roots of reggae in Black culture, today the Seattle Reggae Festival proudly announced one of the 12 acts they’ve booked for their upcoming weekend-long event...
