Beluga to Sue Raffi Over Nude Baby Beluga Album Cover Photos
The rare beluga spotted this week in Puget Sound revealed in an Elliott Bay press conference today that he’s here to sue world-famous and...
Macklemore’s New Clothing Line Already Available in Thrift Shop Down the Road
Macklemore fans hoping to pick up a deal on $80 golfing polo shirts from the just-opened Capitol Hill retail shop for his Bogey Boys...
Slick Lynnwood Guy Knows the Best Redbox in Town
Known locally as "The Tech King of Lynnwood," 53-year-old Dale Stevens exclusively confirmed with The Needling that he's got the Redbox with the best...
Single Withered Carrot Raised Aloft from Garden Like Excalibur
After an entire summer of carefully tending to a new vegetable garden on an at least daily basis, several witnesses say that neighbor Garrett...
COVID a Little Nervous for First Day Back at School
After a long summer vacation in Florida, a local viral COVID-19 particle confessed today that she has a lot of anxiety and trepidation over...
Washington State Fair Ring Toss Prizes All Ivermectin This Year
At the opening of the annual Washington State Fair this Labor Day Weekend, fairgoers say they were shocked and, in some cases, pleasantly surprised...
Man Not Okay with White Silence Still Pretty Okay with Male Silence
Local white antiracist dude Chase Hedges, who impressed social media followers the world over with his brave calls to end white silence this last...
‘COVID Ruined My Social Skills,’ Says Man Who Never Had Them to Begin With
At a weekend gathering of friends, local resident Eli Weber was reportedly quick to blame his complete lack of tact, grace and general unpleasantness...
Report: Majority of 30s Spent Undoing 20s
A startling report published today revealed for the first time that the majority of your 30s will be spent undoing the untold damage that...
Man Operating Under Assumption He Important Enough to Cancel
Following a flurry of racist and sexist tweets directed towards everyone from Rep. Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez and Dr. Fauci to LeBron James and Lola Bunny,...
