The Needling Issues Cease-and-Desist Orders to Local Real Fake News Copycats
Suddenly attacked today from every direction by rampant local real fake news copycats, this afternoon The Needling announced it had issued cease-and-desist orders to Seattle Public Utilities, Pike Place Market, the Washington Department of...
Portland Startup to Mine Artisanal Bitcoin Using Only Slide Rules and Graph Paper
A pair of Portland entrepreneurs say they’re bringing authenticity back to Bitcoin mining by eschewing purpose-built AntMiner S19 Pros in favor of hand-crafted hash made using only graph paper and slide rules.
“We feel that...
Climate Catastrophe? This Skinny Glacier Looks AMAZING
While experts disagree on the exact date a climate Armageddon will inevitably crush most life on the planet, climate scientists are unanimous in their belief that this skinny glacier looks absolutely A-MAZING!
“With the planet...
Territory Between Fremont and Ballard to Be Officially Recognized as ‘FreeBall’
After years of juggling different names that caused friction in the area dangling between Ballard and Fremont, its residents officially announced today they have formally changed their neighborhood name to FreeBall.
“We finally realized that...
Man Irritated by Pride Month Excited to Celebrate 1/37th Irish Heritage
Today one local man took a break from his usual dislike of bright colors and bold celebrations of community pride, especially in June, to celebrate that he is—at most—1/37th Irish.
“Every St. Patrick’s Day, I’m...
UW Cherry Trees Tired of Objectification
After years of being photographed simply for their beauty, cherry trees in the UW Quad have filed an official complaint with the Vice-Provost for Horticultural Affairs.
"We want to be seen for more than just...
What the Lifted Mask Mandate Means for Seattle’s Luchador Community
While many throughout Washington state are excited about pandemic restrictions coming to an end this weekend, Seattle’s luchador community says they’re struggling to come to grips with what the lifted mask mandate means for...
Budtender Asked for Strain That Helps Unwind After Work, Deescalate War in Ukraine
A local budtender was put on the spot today after a customer asked for a hyper-specific strain of weed that could not only help him relax after a long day at the office, but...
Local Man Takes Break from Doomscrolling to Go on Doomjog
Heeding self-care and mental health advice to stop doomscrolling, one responsible local man broke away from his social media newsfeeds this afternoon for a healthy doomjog.
“Sometimes you just gotta put the phone down, get...
5 Up-and-Coming Local Artists to Watch Out for Because They Have Lasers
The Seattle art scene is full of a up-and-coming artists you need to watch out for carefully because they are armed with several different kinds of unpredictable lasers. Here are the top five to...
