‘My Partner Lives in Angle Lake,’ Says Person Who Definitely Does Not Have Partner
Seattle resident Becca Burns is accused of lying today after telling friends and family that her new smart and hot partner resides in Angle...
Lake City Pot Shops and Strip Clubs Band Together to Oppose Yarn Store Opening
Signs reading “Put down the needles” and “Protect our neighborhood character” have sprouted up in the windows of businesses along Lake City Way as...
Quiet Quitting Run Amok? This Woman Didn’t Think About Work for 9 Entire Minutes
Confirming local business managers’ worst fears that Gen Z and millennial workers would take this new quiet quitting TikTok trend too far, several witnesses...
Local 57-Year-Old Still Enjoying ‘Young Adult’ Status at Church
While some bemoan the dwindling numbers of faithful Christian followers at churches all across the Pacific Northwest, local 57-year-old churchgoer Sarah Bostwick says she’s...
Axe Throwing Bar with Liquor License Honestly Expected at Least One Maiming by Now
Though overjoyed that the Washington state legislature recently finally allowed all axe-throwing bars to apply for liquor licenses, the owner of Capitol Hill’s Blade...
Macklemore’s Designer Clothing Shop Turns Away Customer with Only $20 In His Pocket
Today the brick-and-mortar location of Macklemore’s designer golfing clothes brand at University Village, Bogey Boys, threw out a man who allegedly popped all of...
Neighbor Apparently Pretty Jazzed About 5th, 6th and 7th of July Too
Demonstrating a zest for life and/or explosions unbeknownst to most humans—many of whom could hardly even muster enough enthusiasm for the Fourth of July...
MOHAI Denies Kim Kardashian’s Request to Wear J.P. Patches’ Jacket
Following Kim Kardashian’s controversial wearing of Marilyn Monroe’s gown for the Met Gala in May, Seattle’s Museum of History & Industry (MOHAI) confirmed today...
Seattle Freeze? This Woman Got All Weird After I Asked to Pet Her Baby
Before I moved to Seattle, everyone warned me about three things: bad weather, worse traffic, and the Seattle Freeze. As a parent, I heard...
Google Scientist Convinced AI Sentient After It Says Original Starbucks Is Overrated
A Google scientist sounded the alarms that the tech giant’s LaMDA artificial intelligence had become sentient this week after the AI proclaimed it deeply...
