Following the success of the Seattle Art Museum (SAM) and the Seattle Asian Art Museum (SAAM), today administrators were excited to announce the upcoming opening of SAAAM: the Seattle All Appropriated Art Museum.
“SAAAM will be a great addition to the SAM/SAAM family,” said Museum Director Amada Cruz. “It is an opportunity to display all of the museum’s most problematic art, unencumbered with the annoying work of contextualizing it or training our docents to talk about it with any level of sensitivity. We commissioned a marvelous totem pole for the entryway by an artist who is both Dutch and white, but is basically indigenous herself because she describes herself as having an ‘Indian spirit animal.’”
The new museum will be located in the Central District on the site of a recently demolished Black church. It will be staffed by SAM and SAAM employees who have refused DEAI trainings in the last few years.
“We’ve also been fielding a lot of calls from other museums around Seattle about transferring staff here,” said Paige Gauguin, HR director for the museum. “We even snagged the curator who did the ‘Northwest Room’ at the Chihuly Garden and Glass—the one where all the Native American art is jumbled together with no labels or dates, solely to provide a backdrop for a white artist’s inspiration. Such a trailblazing pioneer!”
SAAAM will also be an exciting showcase for local artists. Bellevue sculptor Damien Vanderstrong will premiere new work inspired by his fascination with Japanese geishas.
“My uncomfortably sexualized sculptures celebrate delicate, idealized women. Not those Westernized Asian bitches that tell me to fuck off on Tinder.”
