Local Plant Addict Just Signs Paycheck Over Directly to Swansons Nursery
Following a year of ever-expanding home foliage, today one local man resigned himself to his crippling plant addiction by simply signing his entire paycheck...
Bill Gates Releases Epstein Island Reading List
To inspire evermore intellectual discourse and transparency about what high-minded topics one of the richest men alive is pondering these days, today Bill Gates...
K-Pod Yacht Hunters Chart with K-Pop Bop ‘Sunken’
To the delight of their adoring fans, this week local K-Pod yacht hunters officially topped the charted Salish Sea waters with their new K-pop...
Six More Months of Wet Season Predicted as Geoduck Squirts All Over His Shadow
This morning local geoduck legend Whidbey Willy emerged from his cozy beachsand burrow and squirted all over his shadow, predicting six more months of...
Museum Employee Keeps Forgetting If They Work at the Henry or the Frye
A local employee of a small Seattle art museum that mostly shows contemporary art admitted this week that they keep mixing up whether they...
Reverse Art Thieves Won’t Stop Adding Paintings to Frye Art Museum
First Hill's Frye Art Museum is reaching out to the community for help dealing with reverse art thieves who won't stop adding new paintings...
Rapidly Aging 23-Year-Old Already Unsure Who Half of Capitol Hill Block Party Lineup Is
It was a sobering day for Cooper Ryan as he opened The Stranger to find an unfamiliar lineup at this year’s Capitol Hill Block...
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice
Movie critics and audiences alike seem to agree that the most anticipated film of 2026 will be a no less than 90-minute supercut of...
Seattle Begins Ghosting Rest of Nation by Acting Weird Ahead of Valentine’s Day
Admitting it’s left them on read after winning the Super Bowl on Sunday, today Seattle confessed it’s begun ghosting the Nation by acting weird...
Bird Watcher Caught Honestly Watching Birds
Controversy struck Green Lake Park today after a bird watcher was discovered honestly watching birds.“I rolled over to reapply my sunscreen when I saw...
