Uncontacted Tribe of Mall Santas Discovered in Abandoned Pacific Place Mall
The local scientific community is buzzing today following the discovery of an uncontacted tribe of Mall Santas living inside the abandoned Pacific Place Mall.
"It's been an eternity since anyone has set foot in the...
High-Powered New Leaf Blower Moves 6 Whole Wet Leaves a Minute
Just in time for the late fall season’s soggiest and most stubborn damp leaves, an innovative, high-powered new leaf blower that just hit the market reportedly moves as many as six whole wet leaves...
Macramé Barricades Spring Up at Urban Craft Uprising
Radical vendors armed with hot glue guns erected barricades of knotted hemp macramé at Seattle Center today in yet another Urban Craft Uprising.
“We have fortified the Exhibition Hall with jute and yarn and decorated...
Home Depot Unveils 12-Foot Turkey Carcass Skeleton
Hoping to keep its giant decorative skeleton gravy train going through Thanksgiving, today The Home Depot announced it’s now selling enormous 12-foot Turkey Carcass Skeletons.
"We’ve been searching for a product to bridge the...
Burnt Out ‘Seattle Pubic Storage’ Sign Significantly Less Charming Than ‘Tacoma Elf Storage’
One local storage facility manager's attempt at viral glory flopped today after the public found his “Seattle Pubic Storage” sign significantly less charming than the “Tacoma Elf Storage” sign.
"I assumed the sign was an...
Microsoft Day of the Dead Celebration Reaffirms Commitment to Diversity and Inclusion for Anyone but Palestinians
In a touching display of allyship to communities of color, today Microsoft encouraged its employees and customers to celebrate the Mexican holiday of Day of the Dead on its Redmond campus as long as...
‘I’ve Canceled My WaPo Subscription,’ Announces Amazon Prime Member
Today it was revealed that one of the 200,000 people to cancel their Washington Post subscriptions this last week after its owner Jeff Bezos blocked the famed newspaper from endorsing Kamala Harris for president...
New Bellevue Monopoly Game to Include One Rail Option Surrounded by Free Parking
In a dramatic departure from its classic format which includes four rail lines, a sneak peek of Hasbro’s new Bellevue-themed Monopoly game shows it will include just one rail option surrounded by acres of...
Leaf Starting to Think He’s Only One in City Not Getting Blown
After weeks of hearing it happen to just about every other leaf in the city, one local fallen leaf still on the ground by itself started to wonder today if he was the only...
5 Creative Ways to Come Out As Straight and Monogamous in Seattle on National Coming Out Day
Coming out is hard, especially when you have no idea how your Seattle queer and/or poly friends will react to you admitting you’re a smoldering monogamous straight. Will they welcome you with open arms...
