Home Depot Unveils 12-Foot Turkey Carcass Skeleton
Hoping to keep its giant decorative skeleton gravy train going through Thanksgiving, today The Home Depot announced it’s now selling enormous 12-foot Turkey Carcass Skeletons.
"We’ve been searching for a product to bridge the...
Microsoft Day of the Dead Celebration Reaffirms Commitment to Diversity and Inclusion for Anyone but Palestinians
In a touching display of allyship to communities of color, today Microsoft encouraged its employees and customers to celebrate the Mexican holiday of Day of the Dead on its Redmond campus as long as...
‘I’ve Canceled My WaPo Subscription,’ Announces Amazon Prime Member
Today it was revealed that one of the 200,000 people to cancel their Washington Post subscriptions this last week after its owner Jeff Bezos blocked the famed newspaper from endorsing Kamala Harris for president...
New Bellevue Monopoly Game to Include One Rail Option Surrounded by Free Parking
In a dramatic departure from its classic format which includes four rail lines, a sneak peek of Hasbro’s new Bellevue-themed Monopoly game shows it will include just one rail option surrounded by acres of...
5 Creative Ways to Come Out As Straight and Monogamous in Seattle on National Coming Out Day
Coming out is hard, especially when you have no idea how your Seattle queer and/or poly friends will react to you admitting you’re a smoldering monogamous straight. Will they welcome you with open arms...
Op-ed: I’m Gretchen Wieners and, Yes, I’m Still Trying to Make ‘Uptown’ Happen
Look, I know I’m a transplant and that my opinion as the daughter of the inventor of Toaster Strudel may not mean as much around here. And I know my efforts to make “fetch”...
Man Worried All-Gender Bathroom Not Safe for Women Now That He’s In It
Today one brave, selfless man using an all-gender bathroom for the first time expressed concern for the safety of women now that he was in it.
“See, I pride myself on looking out for the...
Mythological Sirens Pivot to Self-Help Podcasts to Lure Men to Watery Graves
While tales of mythological sirens captivating sailors with their seductive songs have long been told, the cryptids have reportedly pivoted to podcasts to lure new generations of wayward young men into watery graves.
“We used...
City Council Shows Well-fed Pigs at State Fair
After spending all year diligently fattening them up on retroactive 23% raises plus bonuses, this month the majority of the Seattle City Council are proudly displaying their well-fed prize pigs at the Washington State...
Spawning Humans Return to Auburn to Breed and Then Slowly Die
As seasons change and nature takes its course, it’s that bittersweet time of year again when spawning humans begin returning to Auburn to breed and then slowly die.
“It was the strangest thing, I vowed...
