Netflix Fireplace Left Unattended Burns Through 300 Hours of Nature Documentaries
A local family returning from vacation this week was left astonished when they discovered an unattended Netflix fireplace in their living room had burned...
Mayor Harrell Proposes Surveillance Technology to Better Monitor Nudist Beach
Immediately after the Seattle City Council approved an expansion of a surveillance camera system for the Seattle Police Department, Mayor Bruce Harrell announced he’s...
Trump Declares Black Friday Is Indian and Always Has Been
In a bold move just in time for the holiday shopping season, today President-Elect Donald Trump announced that Black Friday has always been Indian,...
Danish Cookie Tin Enjoys Final Moments of Not Carrying Sewing Supplies
Today one local Royal Dansk tin resting in a spread of Thanksgiving desserts with just a few Danish butter cookies left in its paper...
Scalper Bots Trample Consumers During Cyber Monday Sale
Once thought to be an escape from the bloodthirsty mayhem of Black Friday sales, countless Cyber Monday sale shoppers across Seattle say they were...
Two-Drink Limit Imposed After Knitting Needle Fight at New Capitol Hill Crochet & Coffee Café
A new two-drink coffee limit will be enforced starting this week at Capitol Hill's new crochet and coffee spot after an overcaffeinated patron snatched...
Bezos Travels to Amazon Rainforest to Search for Endangered Birds to Stuff Inside Turducken
Not satisfied with a level of decadence that would instantly kill a medieval peasant, Jeff Bezos reportedly traveled to the Amazon rainforest today in...
Op-ed: I’m Gretchen Wieners and, Yes, I’m Still Trying to Make ‘Uptown’ Happen
Look, I know I’m a transplant and that my opinion as the daughter of the inventor of Toaster Strudel may not mean as much...
Danny Westneat Praises 100% Reduction of Homelessness In His Immediate Line of Sight
This week Seattle Times columnist Danny Westneat lauded the city for achieving a 100% reduction of homelessness within Westneat’s own immediate line of sight.
“From...
SPD Officer Instinctively Turns Off Body Cam Before Approaching Dark Turkey Meat
Today one Seattle police officer nearly ruined Thanksgiving after he instinctively turned off his body camera and reached for his sidearm while approaching the...
