Word is spreading that there is a nifty, new WhatsApp Group that sends detailed notifications whenever everybody else in Seattle saw the orcas swim by but you.
“It’s really cool—every time the orcas swing by Alki, this WhatsApp Group Chat alerts me later that I’m literally the only person in the city who did not witness this miracle of nature with my own two eyes,” said local wildlife lover, you. “Every time I open it up, there’s notifications complete with excellent videos and photos from no less than 700,000 people who just witnessed a baby orca flip in the air and splash back into the water for the first time. The alerts come in really handy on days like Sunday after I’m done watching something else equally worthwhile and majestic: Hollywood raining golden awards down on a movie about a stripper/escort who falls madly in love with her client.”
The whale watch alert group on WhatsApp is organized by local wildlife lovers who wanted to give live updates on when animals like orcas are swinging by the Emerald City, but only when you have the audacity to not be looking at your phone’s notifications every 5 minutes.
“I’ve always thought being able to see orcas in the wild with their own pods is part of what makes living in Seattle so special, and I just wanted to give everyone but you an opportunity to see that in person,” said the WhatsApp group founder Shelly Watts. “Whenever I find out you’re too busy taking a shower, reading a book, or focusing on a lot of work, I throw some salmon in Elliott Bay and let the magic happen.”
At press time, everyone in the city was at Carkeek Park taking turns standing on a rock jetty as orcas leapt over them except you.
