After scoping out several hot spots to take orca pods near Seattle shores recently, today marine biologists and several Seattle residents confirmed orcas have indeed launched their own human-watching tours to learn more about their human neighbors.
“I was a bit surprised when a tour group of orcas was looking through my bathroom window last week while I was doing my business,” Capitol Hill resident Tapper Sinclair told reporters today. “But they were so curious about what I was doing, I decided to just finish reading the news while the orcas took turns taking a peek through the window. Now they stop by once a day to take a look at my bathroom routine. I could put up curtains, but I’ve gotten so used to them, I don’t think I could poop without a fresh cup of coffee and an orca watching me.”
The orca’s human watching tour takes orcas on an all-day tour throughout Seattle to give orcas a flavor of everyday life for humans, including a stop at the popular gay dance club, the Cuff.
“My boyfriend and I were dancing our tails off when the Orca tour stopped by for a peek,” Daniel Norsmith said. “Some of the male orcas seemed really into the music and flopped onto the dance floor. Sure, it was a bit crowded, but we’re used to a tight dancefloor at the Cuff. We just made room for their flapping dorsal fins and the bar staff, who dumped buckets of water on the orcas to keep them happy. One of the males kept making eye contact with me. I was flattered because he was so majestic, but I am not that kind of size queen.”
At press time, a group of J-Pod orcas were seen taking the salmon-throwing show at Pike Place Fish up a notch to show everyone how it’s really done.
