Man’s Waterfront View Blocked by Another Man’s Waterfront View

Sam Linn’s expansive view of the Puget Sound from his Belltown apartment has suddenly become a view of the 40-story Arrive tower and, more specifically, the floor-to-ceiling window of Jeffrey Morgan’s living...

Remote Worker Still Not Remotely Aware She Lives in Igloo Now

Friends of Greenwood remote worker Hannah Ricks are reporting that she seems to be completely unaware that she lives in an igloo now. “I love working from home,”...

Revealed: Nude Photos Show Bezos Betrayed Us All

Nude photos of Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos, exclusively acquired by The Needling, show that the nature of betrayal in his secret affairs went much further than previously understood.

Seattle Police Now Equipped with Nerf Guns to Make Shootings More Fun

Facing public outcry over fatal shootings and a general malaise amongst its ranks, the Seattle Police Department is looking to put the "happy" back in trigger-happy cops, equipping over 500 officers with...

Howard Schultz Apologizes for Associating Seattle with Burnt Coffee

Howard Schultz has finally issued a mea culpa to Seattle for forever linking the city with his burnt, flavorless Starbucks coffee. “It’s on me,” writes Schultz in his...

Man Discovers He Actually Lives in Kenmore, not Bothell

A three-year investigation into why Pagliacci Pizza delivery boys could never find Doug Frankel’s Bothell-based address has concluded that he does not, in fact, live in Bothell — he lives in Kenmore.

Last Street In Seattle Open To Traffic Now Closed For Repairs

The Seattle Department of Transportation announced Monday afternoon that 4th Avenue — the only street in Seattle that was still left open as of this morning — is...

King County Calls Off Search for Missing Bellevue Shopper

King County has called off their search for missing Bellevue shopper Stacy J. Quinn, who was last seen on Christmas Eve looking for affordable gifts at Anthropologie. “The maze...

SR 99 Tunnel Quivering to Be Filled to Capacity

State traffic engineers confirmed Friday that State Route 99 tunnel is almost open for business and just waiting to be filled to capacity. The tunnel has sat empty since a massive, throbbing...

Awkward Pedestrian Shuffle Enters Fifth Day

Tensions are rising in Seattle’s Cascade neighborhood as an awkward pedestrian shuffle continues into its fifth day. The standoff began when paralegal Hector Perez and high school teacher Bradley...

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