Sports

Despite high hopes for consecutive years in the playoffs, the Seattle Mariners confirmed Saturday night they would not be making the MLB post-season this year due to retail shoplifting, the JumpStart Tax and public...

Despite bragging about being the most profitable team in baseball just last year, today the Seattle Mariners have announced that you will be playing outfield next season in their latest cost-saving move following recent...

Although they ultimately lost out the bidding wars for the most desired baseball player in the world over the weekend to the Los Angeles Dodgers’ history-making $700 million contract, today sources report the Mariners...

Upon hearing the news of Seattle Seahawks’ Head Coach Pete Carrol’s departure, Seattle mom Kathy Davis, 78, is encouraging her unemployed son Patrick, 34, to reach out to the Seahawks’ HR Department.  “You would be...

Following the announcement of cash incentive lotteries for vaccinated citizens, Governor Jay Inslee warned today that the state will also roll out a parallel punishment lottery that will threaten non-compliant citizens with free Mariners...

Legendary poo-bagging dog walker Beck Alexey confirmed today that National Geographic will be documenting his highly anticipated record-setting dog-walking attempt this weekend in Seattle’s Discovery Park.  Alexey, owner of Pawsitively Pampered Dog Walks, is determined...

As Washington COVID cases continue to decrease, part of Gov. Inslee’s Phase Three plan includes allowing the Mariners fan to attend opening day on April 1st at the T-Mobile Park stadium and all games...

Local sports fan Bart Thompson, whose general state of being could best be classified as a man-made environmental disaster, decided today to belittle the sporting prowess of a worldwide tournament of athletic wonders. “Get off...

Still smarting from the loss of one of the best players the franchise has ever had, today Seahawks Pete Carroll assured Seattle football fans he sucked all the heart, joy and ability he could...

West Seattle resident Brian Simmons, who bikes to downtown Seattle and back every day rain or shine, reportedly has opinions about fair-weather bicyclists. “You know it’s nice that more people are riding bikes during the...