“He Is Risen” Proclaim Bernie Faithful 3 Years Post-DNC Crucifixion
Bernie Sanders’ faithful followers are rejoicing this morning to see him baring political battle wounds once feared mortal.
Calling the comeback a miracle to be celebrated for ages to come, long-time Sanders disciple Paul...
Presidential Hopeful Jay Inslee Touts Seattle Freeze As Answer to Global Warming
In a CNN Town Hall aired live Wednesday night, Wash. State Governor Jay Inslee argued he was uniquely qualified to elevate public discourse on climate change in the 2020 presidential debates because of his...
Woman Takes Perverse Pleasure in Being Rained On
One woman exposed herself in public today as someone who takes perverse pleasure in being rained on, according to several witnesses who just moved to Seattle.
“She was just outside with no umbrella at...
Local Mom Guns It in I-5 Fast Lane with Extra 5 MPH
While driving onto the broad girth of Interstate 5 above South Lake Union this morning, an unidentified working mother merged unexpectedly into the fast lane and — for reasons still under investigation — gunned...
Seattle Aquarium Touch Tide Pool Begs For Mercy
This May brings the 42nd anniversary of the
Seattle Aquarium on Pier 59 and, with it, touch tide pool dwellers begging for
sweet mercy.
Residents of the “Life on the Edge” community expect events for the anniversary...
Highway 99 Disappointed It Never Got to 100
In an exclusive tell-all interview, Washington State Route 99 confessed to an overwhelming sense of self-defeat for never making it to 100. "For decades, I've been serving the West Coast with adequate access...
#TBT: The Needling’s Top 5 March Headlines
If you didn't read our top 5 articles from last month, where were you? Trapped on some confederate ranch in Moses Lake? Getting airlifted to Port Angeles? Man, get on it already.
1."The South...
Tragedy Strikes Local Who Went to Paris That One Time
Following the burning of Paris’ Notre-Dame Cathedral on Monday, local wanderluster Bethany Pierce took to social media to voice the personal tragedy she’s now experiencing right here in the Pacific Northwest.
The magnitude of her...
Aurora Sex Workers Introduce “Good to Blow!” Pass for Easy Billing
In an effort to streamline the payment process, sex workers
on Aurora Avenue have collaborated with Washington State Dept of Transportation
(WSDOT) to bring customers the “Good to Blow!” pass.
With a pre-paid account and a...
The Needling Moving to Print Only
After much deliberation, the publisher of The Needling reports that the only way to save Seattle’s Only Real Fake News is moving the publication to print only.
“We can’t afford the digital-only landscape —...
