Tire squeals and burned rubber left startled parents and teachers searching for answers in front of Everett’s Fairmount Elementary School, where two traffic law-flouting dragsters took off like madmen today.
“We heard our bus driver Michael McQueen bragging about pumping his own gas while revving his engine,” said school librarian Marissa Troud. “But when the Oregon minivan driver bragged about the pleasures of getting regularly serviced or something, all hell broke loose.”
The school bus then allegedly hurtled forward at an astonishing 19 miles per hour through a nearby intersection’s yellow light, where it was promptly honked at and cut off by the dark green minivan. Sporting both “Baby On-Board” and “U of O” stickers on two dented panels, the late-model minivan then proceeded to jack rabbit forward while whizzing past a group of moms waiting on the sidewalk.
Within moments, the minivan peeled off towards Mukilteo Speedway, leaving nothing but a flashing “Your Speed Is 23 MPH” radar sign in its wake.
Reached by phone, the still-on-duty bus driver stated, “I gave him a run for his money, but that dude was just—” before being cut off by honking Boeing engineers backed up for miles behind him.
