Local News

Seattle Public Library’s new policy of eliminating all late fees for overdue items that began on Jan. 2 is already expanding to paying anyone to read a goddamn book at all starting Feb. 2. “If there’s anyone...

In a rare showing of national unity, the entire country has come together today to agree that your minuscule, strategically insignificant town is fucking toast. “I don’t know, man: Despite your town lacking a port,...

Following the apparent passage of Tim Eyman’s I-976 last week, initiative supporters are celebrating by covering up the rumbling sounds of crumbling public transportation infrastructure on their daily commutes with moans of pleasure the state’s GOP says...

A clash over proper composting methods between two rival roommates in an eco-friendly Ravenna household today reportedly resulted in an old-fashioned knifefight for the ages. The conflict began when Lacey Edkins, 24, allegedly tried to...

In a surprise press conference this afternoon, Boeing executives revealed a new set of airliners dubbed the 737 AXE, adamantly emphasizing that they are “legit” and “hella safe.” The sudden announcement raised questions about whether the plane...

After a 10-year run that included biking to work and kayak-blocking Shell’s arctic oil rig, outgoing Seattle City Councilmember Mike O’Brien confirmed at his last Council meeting today that he’ll finally be cutting a...

Monday’s three-alarm fire on Ballard’s Market Street destroyed five businesses including more than 45-year-old retailer Kitchen N Things, but--according to locals—not necessarily all of its reportedly “still good” Le Creuset cookware. “My heart goes out to all...

This Friday, Seattle will host its first real attempt to compete with New York City’s famed Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade with a dazzling downtown Nordstrom Rack Holiday Parade featuring enormous balloons of Fruit Stripe...

Mourners gathered today at a downtown makeshift memorial to honor the life and legacy of Dr. Walter Jensen, a local ophthalmologist and pillar of the community who was repeatedly stabbed in the face today...

Utterly bored by the exponentially higher impact his voting choices would have on his daily life and immediate community in a local municipal election, Seattle voter Patrick Sanderson said he’s much more excited about watching his November...