Groundbreaking Study Shows Bellevue Getting Better in Every Way Except Still Being Bellevue
As the local economic landscape continues to shift, a new breakthrough study shows Bellevue is giving Seattle a run for its money by getting better in almost every single way except still being Bellevue.
“It’s...
SPS Contracts with IDF to Close All Seattle Schools
After much local controversy about which Seattle public schools the district will need to close for budgetary reasons, today the district announced it will be contracting that work out to the IDF, Israel’s military.
“We...
Touching! How Kevin Spacey Inspired Former SPD Chief to Come Out as Gay Right After Being Accused of Sex Crimes
In the most touching story yet this Pride Month, this week former Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz thanked actor Kevin Spacey for helping him find the courage to come out as gay shortly after...
Seafair Pirate Boat Torpedoed by Coast Guard, So That Problem Is Finally Solved
After someone told them that a boat full of pirates have been terrorizing the city of Seattle every summer since 1950, today the U.S. Coast Guard torpedoed the pirates’ Moby Duck boat as it...
‘Please Kill Me,’ Says Up House Begging for Sweet Release of Demolition
As Ballard and the rest of the Seattle community continued discussing for the 16th year in a row potential uses of the house that inspired part of the 2009 Disney Pixar movie “Up,” today...
Impressive Reckless Driving Record Scores Belltown Hellcat Job at SPD
After months of terrorizing and waking up Downtown Seattle with his insanely loud tiger-striped Dodge Charger that barrels down streets at more than 100 mph, today the Seattle Police Department said they were finally...
Inslee Discovers He Has Enough PTO to Stop Being Governor Right Now
This morning Washington State Governor Jay Inslee was reportedly shocked when he stopped staring at the summer weather outside long enough to discover he’d actually racked up so much PTO over his three 4-year...
Centralia Spontaneously Combusts Following Trump Verdict
Following the announcement that Donald Trump was found guilty on all 34 counts in the former President’s hush-money case, conservative stronghold Centralia reportedly spontaneously combusted.
“Suddenly the TVs tuned to Fox News let out this...
‘Ransomware Attacks for Dummies’ Overdue at Seattle Public Library
Today Seattle Public Library announced that in addition to an unfortunate cybersecurity attack that has disabled access to most of its digital resources like e-books this week, it is also just letting people know...
HOA Cracks Down On ‘In This House We Believe’ Signs That Fail to Address Every Social Ill
Homeowners in Leschi were stunned to receive written notices from their HOA last week warning that their "In this house we believe" signs do not comprehensively enough list a stance against every possible problem...
