National Guard Summoned as Figgy Pudding Caroling Competition Enters 5th Day
After an endless volley of Christmas song choruses entered its fifth day at Pike Place Market, today Seattle officials finally called in the National...
Why I Refuse to Use Public Transit Unless It Looks Like the Cute Trolley from Mister Rogers
Look, I’m all for reducing car usage and our carbon footprint by using public transit to help save the environment and slow the advance...
Seattle Native Succumbs to Violent Stab Wounds
Mourners gathered today at a Downtown makeshift memorial to honor the life and legacy of Dr. Walter Jensen, a local ophthalmologist and pillar of...
Mint-Condition Bellevue Sidewalk Tragically Trampled by Local Pedestrian
A sparkling stretch of mint-condition Bellevue concrete was tragically trampled today by an as-of-yet unidentified suspect who allegedly destroyed it by actually walking on...
Local Historian Records Momentous Event for Future Generations
For the tenth year almost in a row, local historian Greg Keith spent New Year’s recording the Space Needle’s fireworks show with his iPhone,...
Seattle Riots After Ticketmaster Immediately Sells Out of All Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam Tickets
Hatred for Ticketmaster reached its highest levels yet today as thousands of avid Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam fans struggled all day to get...
Local Apathy Levels Off The Charts According To Study We Almost Did
In what would have been a landmark study, Seattle levels of apathy and indifference have reached historic highs, according to survey data yet to...
Gas Works Park Sledder Suddenly Becomes Lake Union Kayaker
In an amphibious feat the likes of which Seattle snow lovers had never yet seen, today one man sledding at Gas Works Park suddenly...
Area Man Drives into Ditch to Practice for Upcoming Winter Driving Season
To prepare for snow arriving in the Seattle area as soon as next week, today one local winter driving aficionado took advantage of the...
Space Needle Insists It’s Not That Small, It’s Just Cold Outside
As winter creeps closer and thermostats continue to drop, the Space Needle has once again come forward to insist that it’s not actually that...
