Dow Assures Everyone Local Dow Still Doing Pretty Great After Appointing Self Sound Transit CEO
As the nation’s stock market chaos continues after President Trump’s new tariffs, today recently resigned King County Executive Dow Constantine assured everyone that the...
SPD to Provide 200 Officers to Guard Fluffy Animal Torture Event at Seattle Center
The Seattle Police Department announced today that they will be providing 200 officers free-of-charge to protect the constitutional rights of Purrshoot Church Northwest TM,...
Why a Man Who Threatened City Staff Investigating Wage Theft at His Men’s Only Club Is the Labor Hero Seattle Needs
MLK Labor is proud to give our sole endorsement for Seattle mayor to Bruce Harrell who—as a man who once threatened to defund a...
Federal Way Renames Itself Freeway Exit
After years of even its own residents being willing to get rid of their city’s admittedly lackluster name, today Federal Way announced it would...
Mayor Harrell Debated Sweeps with Advisors in AOL Group Chat Accidentally Shared with City Reporter Hannah Krieg
In an absurd and inexplicable turn of events, today local city government watchdog journalist Hannah Krieg said Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell accidentally included her...
Canada Makes Washington 11th Province
In response to multiple threats by the United States to turn Canada into the 51st state, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney surprised Canadians and...
‘I’m from Seattle,’ Says Liar from Shoreline
In an astonishingly false statement, today local Shoreline resident Jeffrey Willows announced to a set of strangers that he is from Seattle.
The statement came...
Parks Dept. Says Cybertruck Fires Must Be Put Out By 10 p.m.
After a few late-night gatherings got rowdy recently, today Seattle Parks instituted a new rule that everyone must put out their Cybertruck fires by...
Redmond Finally Relevant Enough to Be In Needling Headline
Thousands gathered in Redmond over the weekend at its two new Sound Transit light rail stations to celebrate the Seattle suburb finally being interesting...
After Reopening Alcatraz, Trump Pledges to ‘Fire Up the Pipes’ at Seattle’s Gas Works Park
Still riding high off his decision to reopen Alcatraz, President Donald Trump has now set his sights on Seattle’s Gas Works Park, pledging to...
