Thanks, I Guess? Inslee’s Last Act as Governor Just Changing State Flag to George Washington’s Feet
Outgoing Washington State Governor Jay Inslee announced today that his last gubernatorial act would be changing the state flag's design from George Washington's face to his feet."It's been my great honor to serve as...
Pacific Northwest Sends Firefighters to California to Help As Many As Possible Not Move Up Here
This week fire departments across the Pacific Northwest—including Seattle’s—sent hundreds of firefighters to California to help as many Los Angeles residents as possible not lose their homes and then think for even a moment...
Gold-Chained Gov. Bob Ferguson Goes On Rogan to Explain Why He’s Against Wealth Tax
Today Washington state’s new gold-chained governor, Bob Ferguson, spent his first full day in office on Joe Rogan’s podcast to explain why he’s against a wealth tax that his three-term predecessor Jay Inslee, both...
Negligent Landlord Treats Tenants to In-Unit Polar Plunge
Today tenants of local negligent landlord Roy Nauhart were spared trekking all the way to Alki, Golden Gardens or Matthews Beach after he graciously treated them to an in-unit New Year’s Day polar plunge.
“Aw,...
This Day in Seattle History: Denny Party Sticks Chewing Gum on Rock to Mark Arrival
It was on this day in November 13, 1851 that the Denny Party famously announced their arrival to the Puget Sound region by sticking a piece of chewing gum on a rock, marking the...
Children Delighted to See Cigarettes Left Out for Amazon Delivery Worker Have Been Smoked
Christmas magic was on full display this morning when children of the Little family came tumbling down the stairs to discover the cigarettes they’d left out for the Amazon delivery worker bringing them all...
Fired Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz Just Wondering If He Still Has to Pretend He’s Gay
Since it didn’t keep him from getting fired this week for hiring a woman he was having an affair with amid several other accusations of sexually inappropriate behavior towards women at work, former Seattle...
Martin Selig Evicts Three Ghosts Sent to Teach Him a Lesson About Christmas
Local real estate mogul Martin Selig reportedly kicked three supernatural visitors to the curb early today after the ghosts attempted to teach him a lesson about the true meaning of Christmas.
"Oh great, another ghostly...
Poll Shows Seattleites Actually Wouldn’t Mind If 8 Drooling Zombies on City Council Asked for Brains
A new poll out today revealed a majority of Seattle residents actually wouldn’t mind if the eight drooling zombies on the City Council asked for brains.
“I know I’m supposed to be scared of zombies,...
Cash-Strapped Renter Actually Pretty Stoked About Free Eggs and Toilet Paper Thrown at House
With rents rising and grocery prices soaring, one local man was quietly thrilled after his house was vandalized with eggs and toilet paper during the Halloween season.
“I used to be pissed when the neighborhood...
