Dow Assures Everyone Local Dow Still Doing Pretty Great After Appointing Self Sound Transit CEO
As the nation’s stock market chaos continues after President Trump’s new tariffs, today recently resigned King County Executive Dow Constantine assured everyone that the...
Mayor Harrell Debated Sweeps with Advisors in AOL Group Chat Accidentally Shared with City Reporter Hannah Krieg
In an absurd and inexplicable turn of events, today local city government watchdog journalist Hannah Krieg said Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell accidentally included her...
Canada Makes Washington 11th Province
In response to multiple threats by the United States to turn Canada into the 51st state, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney surprised Canadians and...
Parks Dept. Says Cybertruck Fires Must Be Put Out By 10 p.m.
After a few late-night gatherings got rowdy recently, today Seattle Parks instituted a new rule that everyone must put out their Cybertruck fires by...
Local WhatsApp Group Alerts You Whenever Everybody in City Saw the Orcas Except You
Word is spreading that there is a nifty, new WhatsApp Group that sends detailed notifications whenever everybody else in Seattle saw the orcas swim...
New DSA Member Wondering When Downtown Seattle Association Started Hating Capitalism So Much
After attending his first meeting today, new DSA member Troy Haskell said he couldn’t help but wonder when the Downtown Seattle Association started hating...
Mayor Harrell Introduces ‘Cop Vouchers’ So You Can Donate Directly to Your Favorite Police Officer’s Legal Fund
As Democracy Vouchers arrive in Seattle mailboxes this week, today Mayor Bruce Harrell announced his own new “Cop Voucher” program that you can use...
Mayor Harrell Still Not Sure Why City Wants Social Housing Funds He Can’t Steal from and Give to Cops
The day after Seattle voters approved a social housing funding proposition that Mayor Bruce Harrell loudly opposed, Harrell said he was still baffled by...
Homeless Man Just Grateful He’s Not Sleeping in a Tesla
As one local man prepared to spend another night in Seattle homeless wondering when a bed or a better-paying job might come his way,...
Amazon Concerned Prop 1A Tax Will Take Away Money It’s Saving for Donation to Third Trump Inauguration
With just a little time left for Seattle residents to vote on which social housing proposition they prefer by Tuesday, Feb. 11, Amazon reiterated...
