‘I’ll Go to Jail to Protect Seattle,’ Says Seattle Police Chief Arresting Self
In an unprecedented moment of self-sacrificial public service, today Seattle Police Department Chief Shon Barnes said he would go to jail to protect Seattle...
Councilmember Cathy Moore Steps Down to Spend More Time at Home Lowering Ethics Standards of Family
After wide public criticism of her bill that would have eliminated a financial conflict of interest ethics law, today Seattle City Councilmember Cathy Moore...
Alki Beachgoers Stunned as Low Tide Reveals Studio Apartment with Rent Under $800
During the lowest tide of the year today, Alki beachgoers in were treated to the rare discovery of a studio apartment renting for under...
Phew! City Always Has Enough Seattle Police Officers Around to Harass Queer Community
Despite years of citing severe staffing shortages as the reason Seattle police can’t respond fast enough or at all to many serious crimes, today...
Help SPD Name Its New Urban Warfare Tank!
Wealth inequality is at an all-time high, underfunded schools are closing, and the city's unhoused population is exploding. Thankfully we live in one of...
Pod of Orcas Ignored as Ferry Passengers Marvel at Rare Cargo Ship Entering Port of Seattle
Lucky ferry passengers, who were almost too distracted by a pod of orcas breaching in Elliott Bay to notice, caught a rare glimpse today...
Seattle City Council Begins Ethics Code Meeting with Brand Acknowledgment
Before introducing a bill to dismantle its financial conflict of interest ethics code, the Seattle City Council began its meeting today with a brand...
WSDOT Investigated for Alleged Ties to MS Paint
The Trump administration confirmed today that it is investigating everyone on the WSDOT social media and comms team for their alleged ties to MS...
Report: Seattle Still Absolute Hellhole
Several urban experts walking around the Emerald City today issued a report verifying that every part of Seattle is in fact still obviously an...
Bezos’ Balls Reported Missing After Amazon Backs Down on Listing Tariff Charges
Bezos' Balls reportedly went missing in Seattle today according to a poster being circulated online just a few hours after Amazon backed down on...
