WSDOT Investigated for Alleged Ties to MS Paint
The Trump administration confirmed today that it is investigating everyone on the WSDOT social media and comms team for their alleged ties to MS...
Report: Seattle Still Absolute Hellhole
Several urban experts walking around the Emerald City today issued a report verifying that every part of Seattle is in fact still obviously an...
Bezos’ Balls Reported Missing After Amazon Backs Down on Listing Tariff Charges
Bezos' Balls reportedly went missing in Seattle today according to a poster being circulated online just a few hours after Amazon backed down on...
Waterfront Homeowners Demand City Drain Lake Washington to Prevent Nudity at Denny Blaine Beach
A group of waterfront homeowners announced this week that they will be suing the City of Seattle after it refused to prevent legal nudity...
Car-Free Pike Place Market Just Not Same without Threat of Being Run Over
Pedestrians strolling Pike Place Market Wednesday—the first day of it being temporarily closed to public car traffic through the summer—say shopping and hanging out...
Dow Assures Everyone Local Dow Still Doing Pretty Great After Appointing Self Sound Transit CEO
As the nation’s stock market chaos continues after President Trump’s new tariffs, today recently resigned King County Executive Dow Constantine assured everyone that the...
Mayor Harrell Debated Sweeps with Advisors in AOL Group Chat Accidentally Shared with City Reporter Hannah Krieg
In an absurd and inexplicable turn of events, today local city government watchdog journalist Hannah Krieg said Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell accidentally included her...
Canada Makes Washington 11th Province
In response to multiple threats by the United States to turn Canada into the 51st state, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney surprised Canadians and...
Parks Dept. Says Cybertruck Fires Must Be Put Out By 10 p.m.
After a few late-night gatherings got rowdy recently, today Seattle Parks instituted a new rule that everyone must put out their Cybertruck fires by...
Local WhatsApp Group Alerts You Whenever Everybody in City Saw the Orcas Except You
Word is spreading that there is a nifty, new WhatsApp Group that sends detailed notifications whenever everybody else in Seattle saw the orcas swim...
