Uber Eats Opts to Pay Drivers with Half Your Meal
After a month of charging customers an extra $5 per order to cover the cost of Seattle’s new mandatory minimum wage for delivery drivers, today Uber Eats said it’s doing away with the unpopular...
Film Fanatic Cousin Ruins Holiday Telling Everyone Where All the Easter Eggs Are
Today a local holiday family gathering was completely upended when a film fanatic cousin couldn’t stop telling everyone where all the Easter eggs were.
“You know, I put a lot of hard work into hiding...
Baby Poked in Eye by Faulty Spoon Airplane Manufactured by Boeing
Boeing came under fire once again today after it was revealed that a baby was poked in the eye by a faulty Boeing 737 Spoon Airplane that the company had manufactured.
“I was bringing the...
Uber Eats Adds ‘CEO Yacht Fee’
Uber customers experienced an unexpected sticker shock today after an additional “CEO Yacht Fee” began appearing on orders placed within Seattle.
“First was the ‘Service Fee’, then the ‘Local Operating Fee’, and I could even...
Starbucks CEO Working Publicity Shift at Café Fucks Up Every Single Order
Starbucks CEO Laxman Narasimhan took a break from extracting value for shareholders to extract some coffee during a publicity shift at a Capitol Hill Starbucks today, where he reportedly proceeded to fuck up every...
Couple’s Photos from Seattle Vacation Actually Taken in Vancouver, B.C.
Today friends and family of a couple who just came back from their Seattle vacation were treated to an Instagram carousel of the lovebirds posing in front of the city’s most iconic landmarks, including...
Fate of Entire Day Hinges On Barista Doing Cute Lil Latte Foam Art Thingie
Customers at a local cafe were on pins and needles this morning waiting for the entire fate of their day to be determined by whether their barista does the cute lil foam art thingie...
Several Fingers Severed at Boeing All-Hands Safety Meeting
During an ill-fated effort to improve its operations and earn back the public’s trust after Alaska Airlines said loose bolts were found in several of its 737 MAX 9s, today several fingers were unfortunately...
5 Safety Tips for Kayaking the Atmospheric River This Weekend
Planning to enjoy a scenic kayak down the atmospheric river this weekend? Make sure you heed our five top safety tips before heading out to row row row your boat gently down the tropical...
Brave Local Bearded Man Comes Out as Not a Big Fan of IPAs
After years of hiding a truth he feared would alienate himself from friends and family alike, brave local bearded man Martin Price has officially come out as "actually not a fan of IPAs at...
