Recipe for Three-Day Existential Carrot Soup
Three days to make a carrot soup may sound like a big commitment, but the tasty results and hours of contemplation about the nature of human existence are worth it. If time (which we...
CDC Advises Public to Avoid People Who Go On Cruises
Amid fears that the Coronavirus may spread internationally, today the Center of Disease Control urged the general public to obnoxiously cover their mouths every time they see someone wearing a nylon fanny pack, socks...
Death Toll Climbs in Ballard Dessert Shop Turf War
Fighting between factions of Ballard’s trendy dessert establishments continued to escalate this week with no signs of abating.
The Hot Cakes and Frankie & Jo’s alliance has been stone-cold in its ongoing face-off against...
Vegan Wants Authentic Southern Food Experience
Moments after being seated at Junebaby, Ravenna’s James Beard Award-winning Southern food restaurant, vegan Jenny Park formally announced to her friend and server that she could not wait to finally experience authentic Southern cuisine.
Park...
Lake View Cemetery Pop-Up Christmas Market Actually Kinda Dope
Critics skeptical of the
controversial location for this weekend’s Lake View Cemetery Pop-up Christmas
Market were quickly quieted after realizing that it was actually kinda dope.
“I was ready to be offended by the audacity of someone...
Pike Place Market Workers Begin Throwing Impossible Salmon
Pike
Place Market’s famous fishmongers began a new Seattle tradition this week with
the hurling of Impossible Salmon, the latest meat-like lab-made concoction from
vegan-friendly company Impossible Foods.
Fish throwers say they’re trying as hard as Impossible...
Single Xmas-Light Tumbleweed Rolls Down Abandoned Leavenworth Main Street
An eerie quiet has fallen over the
festive town of Leavenworth as holiday crowds have abandoned the snowbound
mountain hamlet, leaving only a lone, tangled tumbleweed of Christmas lights
tumbling down Main Street.
“Christmas is over and...
Seattle Woman Spending Thanksgiving in Spokane Spontaneously Combusts
A Thanksgiving visit back to her parents’ home in
Spokane turned tragic for Seattle woman and lifelong Democrat Leah Perkins, 31,
when she spontaneously combusted into flames shortly after a non-pasture-raised
turkey was served.
“One moment we...
Beth’s Cafe Celebrates 10,000th Heart Attack
Seattle’s favorite greasy spoon since 1954 and home of the 12-egg omelet, Beth’s Café, proudly announced today that it had reached its 10,000th customer heart attack.
The achievement is a record-breaking milestone long coveted...
King County Public Health Officials Add Mr. Yuk Rating
In an effort to even better assist restaurant patrons with making wise dining choices, Public Health Seattle & King County announced today the addition of a Mr. Yuk rating to its emoji-inspired food safety...