Gingerbread House Day Sparks Discussions Around the Very Real Issue of Gingerfrication
While everyone loves Gingerbread House Day, this year the holiday is sparking conversations about whether it’s too problematic to celebrate due to the very...
RFK Jr. Debuts New Free School Lunch Program
In his first order of business after the Senate confirmed him as President Donald Trump’s Health Secretary, today RFK Jr. unveiled the nation’s first...
‘Don’t Worry, I Used to Fly in the Midwest,’ Announces Pilot Moments Before Slowly Sliding Into Parked Planes
As delays at Sea-Tac Airport continue to pile up due to slippery runway conditions, one Midwestern pilot reassured his passengers he was more than...
Luna Park Cafe Implicated in Fonzi Scheme
Popular West Seattle diner and tchotchke paradise Luna Park Cafe had their malt mixer impounded today as they are currently under investigation for running...
The Needling’s Top 10 Boeing Headlines of 2024
What a year for Boeing! The Needling wrote about Boeing literally ten times as much as it has any other year with almost 30...
Danish Cookie Tin Enjoys Final Moments of Not Carrying Sewing Supplies
Today one local Royal Dansk tin resting in a spread of Thanksgiving desserts with just a few Danish butter cookies left in its paper...
Two-Drink Limit Imposed After Knitting Needle Fight at New Capitol Hill Crochet & Coffee Café
A new two-drink coffee limit will be enforced starting this week at Capitol Hill's new crochet and coffee spot after an overcaffeinated patron snatched...
Bezos Travels to Amazon Rainforest to Search for Endangered Birds to Stuff Inside Turducken
Not satisfied with a level of decadence that would instantly kill a medieval peasant, Jeff Bezos reportedly traveled to the Amazon rainforest today in...
SPD Officer Instinctively Turns Off Body Cam Before Approaching Dark Turkey Meat
Today one Seattle police officer nearly ruined Thanksgiving after he instinctively turned off his body camera and reached for his sidearm while approaching the...
Dog Scientists Recommend Leaving Thanksgiving Turkey Unattended for 5 Minutes
As the nation prepares for Thanksgiving festivities, a panel of dog scientists released an official statement today recommending that you should leave the turkey...
