Man Exploring London Names Clocktower ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away Back Home
A Puyallup man exploring London for the first time announced he’s named the towering clock he discovered today all on his own “Tahoma” after...
Alaska Airlines to Extend Companion Fare to AI Girlfriends
Just in time for holiday travel to visit loved ones, today Alaska Airlines announced that it’s extending its discount Companion Fare to AI girlfriends.
“Here...
Tire Runoff Delicious, ‘But I Know It’s Bad For Me,’ Says Local Salmon
One local salmon seen binging gallons of tire runoff pouring into the suburban hometown stream he returned to today admitted he knows it’s bad...
Local Doctors Reassure Public Rick Steves Still Doing Just Fine
Today local doctors suddenly swamped with questions about the current health of Rick Steves assured an anxious public that the internationally beloved, Edmonds-based travel...
Novo Nordisk Unveils New, Stronger Ozempic for Your Mom
Just in time for the holidays, today Novo Nordisk announced a new, stronger Ozempic prescription for that beached whale you call Your Mom.
"We needed...
Group of Mountain Climbers Dies on Mountain Everyone Dies On
Today search and rescue teams tragically confirmed that an entire group of mountain climbers died on the mountain everyone dies on.
“They were so excited...
5 Fun Places to Go Apple Picking This Weekend Because ICE Scared Off All Their Farmworkers
There’s no better time to go pick apples at these five fun and picturesque orchards than this weekend because ICE raids have left no...
Man Who Got First Red Cup with First Starbucks On It Actually Got Second
Controversy erupted online today when it was discovered a man claiming to have received this year’s first holiday red cup with an illustration of...
CEO Orders Alderaan Starbucks Be Destroyed to Squash Red Cup Rebellion
As the Red Cup Rebellion continues to gain momentum across the galaxy, Brian “Darth” Niccol has reportedly ordered the Death Starbucks to destroy the...
Starbucks Cancels Pumpkin Spice Season After Cinnamon Unionizes
This morning Starbucks CEO Brian Niccol made the unexpected and startling announcement that the company has canceled pumpkin spice season only three days into...
