Heroic Coworker Spares Team Happy Hour of Plans to Backpack The Enchantments This Weekend
An entire marketing department was rescued from a long, excruciating physical and psychological horror today at a Downtown Yard House happy hour when a heroic coworker spared each of their innocent souls details about his...
Queen Anne Residents Create Little Free Pantry for Those Making Under $600k
In an effort to provide support to those desperately in need, today Queen Anne residents unveiled a newly constructed “Little Free Pantry” for all poor souls nearby making under $600,000 a year.
“We wanted...
New Family Friendly Brewery To Lock Kids In Padded Room While Parents Get Shithoused
In a move that has local parents raving, the owner of Enfant Terrible Brewing has announced that its new Greenwood location provides a padded, soundproof room for their howling offspring to bounce around unattended...
The Next Titanic? This Couple on a Bremerton Ferry is Raw-Dogging in a 2002 Toyota Corolla
It’s been more than two decades since Titanic’s Rose and Jack rocked our worlds with their unforgettable love affair at sea. Now two Bremerton-bound lovebirds aboard the Chimacum are giving them a run for...
All Clever IPA Names Tapped Out
Upstart Georgetown brewery owners Steve and Greg Ward were left high and dry today when they learned that all clever hop-based IPA puns had officially been tapped.
"We already had labels and stickers made with...
Alaska Airlines Trolls CDC Headquarters with ‘Don’t Be Such a Little Bitch’ Skywriting Message
While still attempting to appeal the decision of a Trump-appointed Florida judge that struck down the national travel mask mandate, the CDC was totally owned today when an Alaska Airlines jet wrote “don’t be...
Seattle Reaches Munchies Security Threat Level ‘Dorito Orange’ As QFC Locks Up Ice Cream
On the holiest of high days, 4/20, today threats to the local munchie supply chain reached the critically dangerous “Dorito Orange” level as QFC grocery stores across Seattle locked up their full stock of...
Pike Place Fish Market to Offer New Smoked Salmon Peeps for Easter
Just in time for Easter this next weekend, Pike Place Fish Market announced today it will be celebrating the holy holiday by selling local seafood lovers and tourists alike their brand new, limited edition...
Bainbridge Island Thinks It’s Probably Time for You to Leave
Although its local merchants certainly appreciate your business, Bainbridge Island thinks it might be time for you to start headin' home, multiple shopkeepers have now hinted.
“We love the vibrancy city dwellers add to our...
Costco Unveils New Belltown Signature Brand for Small, Overpriced Merchandise
Local wholesaler Costco announced plans today to expand upon the success of its high-quality Kirkland Signature brand with a new Belltown Signature line of small, overpriced products.
“I gazed up at the apartment towers on...
