Host at Buca Di Beppo Isn’t Actually Happy to Seat You Now
Tonight the host who has a table ready for your family to celebrate your grandma’s 79th birthday is reporting that, for the record, he’s...
Couple Celebrates 8th Straight Summer of Not Taking Ferry to Victoria
Tonight, a refrigerated bottle of fine Costco red wine is ready to celebrate Corey and Lisa Stottlemyre’s eighth consecutive summer of almost taking an...
Dick’s HR Department Just Gives Up
After years of valiantly combating thousands of inadvertently spoken HR violations, the Dick’s Drive-In Human Resources team announced today that it just can’t do...
Starbucks Introduces New Pumpkin Spice HEPA Filters
Determined to pump just as many customers with pumpkin spice spirit as ever despite oppressive wildfire smoke and resurfacing pandemic conditions, Starbucks released a...
Hidden Speakeasy Entrance Actually Just Some Guy’s Kitchen Window
The hottest new speakeasy in town abruptly shut down today after it was revealed that patrons had mistaken his kitchen window for a hidden...
The Flour Box Opens Rest Stops Along Its 8-Hour Line for Donuts
Prepared for its National Donut Day lines to snake well down into Maple Valley, today popular South Seattle bakery The Flour Box stationed rest...
Sunny Weather Packs Ballard Breweries with People Who Think They Recognize Each Other
The Ballard brewery district’s sunny beer patios are reportedly packed this week with scores of people squinting and basking in the glow of community...
Neighborhood Cats Rejoice as Bongos’ Giant Litter Box Opens for Spring
Green Lake-area cats have declared litter box season officially open after the beloved Caribbean restaurant Bongos Cafe opened its giant sand-covered patio for the...
Belltown Resident Excited Order Tracker Shows Only 90,000 Minutes Left Until Moto Pizza Ready
Overjoyed that he won’t have to wait literally forever to satisfy his craving for Detroit-style pizza here in Seattle, today Belltown resident Bryan Miller...
Ugh: White Coworker’s Cinco de Mayo Guacamole Has Raisins in It Again
A local office Cinco de Mayo potluck took a tragic turn today when coworkers discovered that Teresa from Sales had once again destroyed an...
