Vegan Wants Authentic Southern Food Experience

Moments after being seated at Junebaby, Ravenna’s James Beard Award-winning Southern food restaurant, vegan Jenny Park formally announced to her friend and server that she could not wait to finally experience authentic Southern cuisine. Park...

Pike Place Market Workers Begin Throwing Impossible Salmon

Pike Place Market’s famous fishmongers began a new Seattle tradition this week with the hurling of Impossible Salmon, the latest meat-like lab-made concoction from vegan-friendly company Impossible Foods. Fish throwers say they’re trying as hard as Impossible...

Single Xmas-Light Tumbleweed Rolls Down Abandoned Leavenworth Main Street

An eerie quiet has fallen over the festive town of Leavenworth as holiday crowds have abandoned the snowbound mountain hamlet, leaving only a lone, tangled tumbleweed of Christmas lights tumbling down Main Street. “Christmas is over and...

Beth’s Cafe Celebrates 10,000th Heart Attack

Seattle’s favorite greasy spoon since 1954 and home of the 12-egg omelet, Beth’s Café, proudly announced today that it had reached its 10,000th customer heart attack. The achievement is a record-breaking milestone long coveted...

King County Public Health Officials Add Mr. Yuk Rating

In an effort to even better assist restaurant patrons with making wise dining choices, Public Health Seattle & King County announced today the addition of a Mr. Yuk rating to its emoji-inspired food safety...

Seattle Aquarium Unveils Thanksgiving ‘Orc-Porp-Phin’ Feast for Wealthy Donors

A clandestine Thanksgiving tradition was uncovered this week, as intrepid Needling reporters revealed that a cabal of wealthy Seattle Aquarium donors were treated to an Orc-Porp-Phin feast comprised of three endangered aquatic mammals tastefully...

Seattle Pizza Week Extended to Seattle Pizza Year for Dave

Citywide purveyors of Seattle Pizza Week’s $2 slice extravaganza have confirmed that last week’s annual event has officially been extended into Pizza Year for Dave. “Yeah, I think this is – what is it? About...

Local Psychopaths Camping This Weekend

According to inside sources, certified crazy people Shyan Burke and Mikaela Hopkins of Fremont have already headed up to the mountains this weekend to “get back to nature." Fellow Fremont resident Ruby told The Needling that...

Man Takes Son to Niagara Falls

This weekend a local father and son bonded before the thundering and majestic waters of Niagara Falls, located just 45 minutes east of Seattle. “We didn’t load up on Fig Newton carbs during our...

Brewmaster Torn Apart By IPA Junkies Fiending For More Hops

Tragedy struck a Georgetown brewery today as a beloved brewmaster was torn to shreds by a ravenous pack of IPA addicts, fiending for more of the sweet, skunky ambrosia. The victim was identified as Connor Bigelow, founder...