Line at Dick’s Taking Longer Than Blue Origin Celebrity Spaceflight
Scores of customers waiting forever in line at Dick’s came to the sobering realization today that by the time they finally get their Deluxes...
Local Conservative Clarifies He’s Only Okay with Wearing Masks to Ruin Lives, Not Save Them
Today a local conservative and ICE agent who cried bloody murder when asked to wear a mask during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic...
Norwegian Hot Dog Kindly Asks to Be Put Out of Its Misery
Today a Norwegian hot dog served in a dry tortilla to a transplant who’d never had one before kindly begged to be put all...
Disturbing New Report Reveals Average American Swallows Several 7-11 Hot Dogs in Sleep Each Year
A disturbing new report released today reveals that the average American swallows up to a half-dozen 7-11 hot dogs in their sleep each year.
"It...
Walla Walla: Come for the Wine, Stay Because You’re in Prison
Today the tourism board for the “town so nice they named it twice” officially changed its city slogan to “Walla Walla: Come for the...
Raccoon Mortified to Learn He Took Date to Rummage Through Cybertruck Instead of Dumpster
A local raccoon was reportedly mortified today after realizing he accidentally took his Foragr date to rummage through a Cybertruck instead of a dumpster.
"I...
Spokane Admits It Keeps the ‘e’ Because It Hates Itself Too
After years of people speculating about why the Eastern Washington city of Spokane spells its name in a way that inevitably gets it constantly...
Taylor Shellfish Farms Introduces New Easier-to-Clean Geoducks
Today the Puget Sound’s Taylor Shellfish Farms made local seafood history again with the launch of its exclusive new product: pre-cut, easier-to-clean geoducks.
“Are you...
Rescue Shelter Cats Flown in from California to Seattle Humane Already Complaining About the Mexican Food
Within 24 hours of landing in Seattle, animal shelter workers are confirming that all 19 rescue cats flown in from California are already complaining...
Alaska Airlines Announces Emotional Baggage Fee
In another financial blow to air travelers after Southwest said it was ending its free two-checked bags policy, today Alaska Airlines said it would...
