SeaTac’s ‘No Parking on Airport Road’ Signs Officially Declared a Must-Stop Attraction
This holiday season, skip Zoolights and head to SeaTac’s airport road, where drivers are dazzling onlookers in a festive display of hazard lights, abrupt turns, and bold violations of local ordinances.
“It’s like watching a...
Gingerbread House Day Sparks Discussions Around the Very Real Issue of Gingerfrication
While everyone loves Gingerbread House Day, this year the holiday is sparking conversations about whether it’s too problematic to celebrate due to the very real and ongoing issue of gingerfrication.
“This is serious, man: One...
Danish Cookie Tin Enjoys Final Moments of Not Carrying Sewing Supplies
Today one local Royal Dansk tin resting in a spread of Thanksgiving desserts with just a few Danish butter cookies left in its paper cups shared gratitude for its final moments of not carrying...
Two-Drink Limit Imposed After Knitting Needle Fight at New Capitol Hill Crochet & Coffee Café
A new two-drink coffee limit will be enforced starting this week at Capitol Hill's new crochet and coffee spot after an overcaffeinated patron snatched a knitting needle from another woman’s corgi dog sweater project...
Bezos Travels to Amazon Rainforest to Search for Endangered Birds to Stuff Inside Turducken
Not satisfied with a level of decadence that would instantly kill a medieval peasant, Jeff Bezos reportedly traveled to the Amazon rainforest today in search of new endangered birds to stuff inside his Turducken...
SPD Officer Instinctively Turns Off Body Cam Before Approaching Dark Turkey Meat
Today one Seattle police officer nearly ruined Thanksgiving after he instinctively turned off his body camera and reached for his sidearm while approaching the turkey's dark meat.
"Hey, pal, wings where I can see them–I...
Dog Scientists Recommend Leaving Thanksgiving Turkey Unattended for 5 Minutes
As the nation prepares for Thanksgiving festivities, a panel of dog scientists released an official statement today recommending that you should leave the turkey completely unattended for the next five minutes while you go...
Boeing Celebrates DB Cooper Day by Removing Plane Doors Mid-flight
Today Boeing commemorated the legendary sky-diving escape of hijacker D.B. Cooper—never to be seen again—on this day Nov. 24, 1971 by festively popping doors off its planes midflight.
“Doors and windows weren’t cracking and popping...
Boeing Announces Priority Boarding for Passengers Willing to Hold Plane Together with Bare Hands
In an effort to cut down on costs for everyone in a mutually beneficial way, today Boeing announced it would provide priority boarding for passengers willing to hold their plane together with their bare...
Fun Sized Candy Isn’t
Contrary to claims on the front of bags of confections packing grocery store aisles for the holiday season, reports are coming in from candy experts across the nation today that fun-sized candy actually isn’t.
“What...
