Mariners Father’s Day Game Welcomes Dads to Walk on Field and Admire Well Kept Lawn
Inspired by the annual Run Around the Bases event, today the Seattle Mariners began a new Father’s Day Game tradition of inviting local dads...
Landlord Requiring $500 Deposit for Sleep Paralysis Demon
With rents skyrocketing and housing inventory shrinking, area landlords have reportedly decided to expand pet rent surcharges to now include a $500 deposit for...
Seattle Police Announce Plans to Escalate Citywide Sweeps of Sexual Assault Cases Under Nearby Rug
The Seattle Police Department announced today that they need to significantly ramp up sweeping the city’s overwhelming backlog of documented adult sexual assault crimes...
The Original Starbucks Doesn’t Have a Drive-Thru and 5 Other Reasons Cars Belong at Pike Place Market
It’s an age-old Seattle debate: Should our prized Pike Place Market finally become a car-free pedestrian utopia like 80 percent of this city wants...
Half-staff Flag Just Gonna Stay There a While
One local American flag announced today that it has decided it’s just gonna stick around at half-staff for a while.
“Frankly, I’m exhausted from running...
Pike Place Fish Market to Offer New Smoked Salmon Peeps for Easter
Just in time for Easter this next weekend, Pike Place Fish Market announced today it will be celebrating the holy holiday by selling local...
West Seattle Bridge Finally Enters Pupal Stage, Could Hatch By 2024
After more than two years of anticipation, today the Seattle Department of Transportation announced that the West Seattle Bridge has finally entered its pupal...
Discovery of Ancient Temple of the Dog Liner Notes Could Serve as Rosetta’s Stone to Decipher Eddie Vedder Lyrics
Seattle’s music scene was abuzz today after the discovery of an ancient Temple of the Dog record with intact liner notes gave grunge scholars...
Mariners, Seahawks, Kraken Congratulate Sounders on Winning Their ‘Little Jamboree’
Following the Seattle Sounders’ historic achievement as the first MLS team to win the Concacaf Champions League this week, representatives from the Seattle Mariners,...
Trickle-Down Economics’ Historic 40-Year Drought Definitely Ending Any Decade Now
As the trickle-down economics policy popularized by President Ronald Reagan enters its 41st year, local economic forecasters maintained that the theory’s historic drought—which has...
