Google Scientist Convinced AI Sentient After It Says Original Starbucks Is Overrated
A Google scientist sounded the alarms that the tech giant’s LaMDA artificial intelligence had become sentient this week after the AI proclaimed it deeply...
Uber Introduces ‘UberTrunk’ for Riders Desperate to Avoid Human Contact
Uber Black. Uber Pool. The ill-advised Uber Lap. The popular ride sharing service has tested the waters with numerous configurations, but the company has...
Crafty Millennial Just Builds House Out of Avocado Toast
A local cash-strapped millennial stunned neighbors and became an overnight DIY TikTok sensation this week by building the first and likely only home he’ll...
Uvalde Police Department Unveils New Thin Yellow Line Flag
To commemorate all the bodily fluids lost while assaulting parents trying to rescue their children from an active shooter, today the Uvalde Police Department...
New Gerrymandered Maps Somehow Puts Pike Place Market in Bellevue
Following a series of heavily gerrymandered maps sweeping the country, a new proposed King County map would somehow place Pike Place Market within the...
Passengers Banging in Amtrak Bathroom Join New Low Club
Forgoing the classic thrills of the mile high club, one adventurous couple decided to hit a new low today after banging in the bathroom...
Mariners Spotted Having Steamy Summer Fling with Winning
Move over Bennifer: Several witnesses are reporting that what initially seemed at best a one-night stand or crazy weekend on the road between the...
New Family Friendly Brewery To Lock Kids In Padded Room While Parents Get Shithoused
In a move that has local parents raving, the owner of Enfant Terrible Brewing has announced that its new Greenwood location provides a padded,...
Disappointing: Dale Chihuly Reveals Not a Single Thing in Glass Museum is a Bong
Glass-blowing enthusiasts and stoners alike are distraught today after an interview with world-famous glass artist Dale Chihuly revealed that not a single thing in...
Dog Daycare Significantly Nicer Than Nearby Public School
As public school funding continues to decrease across the country, local teachers began to express concern that the nearby dog daycare, the Muttessori Pawcademy,...
