New Canlis Menu Written by ChatGPT Promises ‘Cunnilingus Adventure for Your Taste Birds’
No stranger to experimentation, famed dining destination Canlis reportedly asked AI chatbot ChatGPT to write tonight’s special menu, but discovered they might have a...
Space Needle Waiting Whole Life for This Moment
As a suspected Chinese high-altitude surveillance balloon floated high over the US today, the Space Needle assured Seattle locals that it had been waiting...
Oscars ‘Multiverse Stream’ Treats Viewers to Timeline Where Will Smith Slaps Chris Rock with Hot Dog Fingers
After struggling with ratings over the past decade, producers for the 2023 Oscars decided to experiment with a new “multiverse stream” format in which...
Bill Nye Breaks Bad; Establishes Evil Lair at Pacific Science Center
After spending decades as the face of educational TV programming, local authorities say Bill Nye the Science Guy has suddenly broken bad and established...
Seattle Times Removes Dilbert Comic; Gives Him Op-Ed Column
Following a racist tirade by Dilbert creator Scott Adams, The Seattle Times announced this week that it would be removing the Dilbert comic from...
Inflation Woes Continue as Beth’s Cafe 12-Egg Omelette Now Costs $37,000
Inflation woes continued to mount today as diners excited for Beth’s Cafe grand re-opening were shocked to find that the surging price of eggs...
Oregon Unveils New Slogan: Come for Legal Shrooms, Stay Because the Giant Kaleidoscopic Beaver is Blocking the Interstate Bridge
After beginning to lawfully allow adult use of psilocybin “magic” mushrooms earlier this month, today Oregon unveiled their new state slogan “Come for the...
Galentine’s Day Gathering Picked Off One ‘U Up?’ Text at a Time
A thriving Galentine’s Day gathering has gone awry this evening as
a volley of romantic ‘u up?’ texts have wooed away its attendees one by...
Tourist Tip: Pike Place Fishmongers Will Toss Your Kid if You Slip Them $50
The Needling is always here to highlight the best local tips for visitors spending a weekend in Seattle—this week’s tip: The fishmongers at the...
Man Leaves Bookstore with Bounty of Zoom Background Decorations
One man celebrated his new remote position today by investing in a bounty of zoom background decorations from his local bookstore.
“I must have spent...
