Baby Poked in Eye by Faulty Spoon Airplane Manufactured by Boeing
Boeing came under fire once again today after it was revealed that a baby was poked in the eye by a faulty Boeing 737...
Uber Eats Adds ‘CEO Yacht Fee’
Uber customers experienced an unexpected sticker shock today after an additional “CEO Yacht Fee” began appearing on orders placed within Seattle.
“First was the ‘Service...
Starbucks CEO Working Publicity Shift at Café Fucks Up Every Single Order
Starbucks CEO Laxman Narasimhan took a break from extracting value for shareholders to extract some coffee during a publicity shift at a Capitol Hill...
Landlord Wouldn’t Have Rented You This Apartment If They Knew You Were Gonna Be All Uptight About Needing a Front Door
A local landlord was left in disbelief today after one of the tenants had the nerve to complain about their missing front door.
“After all...
Seattle Makes Appointment For STI Screening After Gum Wall Spreads to Bezos Balls
A panicked Seattle made a last-minute doctor's appointment for an STI screening today after noticing the gum wall had spread all the way to...
Orca Mafia Begins Charging Washington Ferries for Protection So No More ‘Accidents’ Happen to Rest of Fleet
As Washington State Ferries continues to deal with an aging fleet, vessel breakdowns and a lack of staff, local orca “entrepreneurs” have stepped in...
Seahawks Honor Pete Carroll By Hanging His Gum From the Rafters
Following the shocking news that Pete Carroll would be stepping down as head coach, the Seahawks announced today that they would be honoring the...
Seattle Police Department Forms ‘Male Nipple Exposure Prevention Task Force’
Following a weekend raid on Seattle gay bars that resulted in several citation threats for the “exposure of a male nipple,” today the Seattle...
Aroma of Tacoma Returns After Bullshit Verdict Drops in Manuel Ellis Case
The aroma of Tacoma re-emerged today with brutal force after an enormous pile of bullshit was dropped in a Pierce County courtroom where three...
New Parents Excited Ballard Light Rail Line Will Be Finished in Time To Visit Kids at University of Washington
As more details emerge for a future Ballard Light Rail connection, new parents Jim and Claire Thompson are reportedly ecstatic that the light rail...
