Finally! San Francisco Lets Seattle Sit at Their Lunch Table
Celebration filled the streets of Seattle as its foggier upperclassman, San Francisco, finally allowed the Emerald City to sit at their lunch table.
While seemingly...
Man’s Faith in Imminent Rise of Atheism Shaken After Visit to Bellevue
Friends of a Seattle atheist report he has been rendered virtually catatonic after accidentally witnessing the popularity of church-going during a recent visit to...
Local Musician Launches Kickstarter to Fund Relevancy
Local musician Todd Shoemaker has announced on social media
that he’s launching a campaign on Kickstarter to raise money and awareness for
his relevance.
“My friends,...
International District Renamed Everywhere District
Seattle residents are applauding the renaming of the International District, colloquially known as “the ID”, to the more inclusive Everywhere District.
“It’s really a big...
Study Finds Tourists With Umbrella 37% More Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
A landmark study that's flying in the face of conventional Seattle wisdom has found that tourists with umbrellas tested 37 percent higher in supercalifragilisticexpialidociousness.
"Although...
Local Hipster Starts New Seattle Arts Magazine, Realizes She Doesn’t Have The Right Haircut
Local hipster Sarah E. Miller was dead-set on starting a new kind of Seattle arts magazine when she realized, to her horror, that she...
“Seattle Squeeze? Yes, Please!” Jokes Divorcee Desperate For Warmth Of Human Touch
The closure of the Alaskan Way Viaduct has strained traffic around the region for weeks, causing tempers to flare for many – but not...
Nextdoor Reveals Fill-in-the-Blank Template for Suspicious Neighborhood Activity Posts
Title
Time
Dark Color
Street Name in an Affluent White Neighborhood
Part of House
Luxury Car Brand
Local Shopping Area
Article of Clothing
...
Man Looking for Sweet Deal on New or Pre-owned Coping Mechanism
Greenwood resident Ethan Buell announced to friends and family Monday afternoon that he was headed to Aurora Avenue to scour dealerships in the hopes...
Jesus Just Kind Of Wondering Why Wedding Proposal Had To Be On His Birthday
After witnessing yet another romantic Pike Place Market wedding proposal between two Seattle sweethearts, Jesus Christ is reporting he’s wondering why they had to...
