Dave Matthews Sees Shadow at The Gorge, Predicts 6 More Weeks of Summer
Thousands converged upon The Gorge Labor Day Weekend for their annual pilgrimage to see if singer Dave Matthews would see his shadow—and he did, predicting six more weeks of summer!
"It sometimes takes all...
PAX West Attendees Devoured by GameShark
Today tragedy struck PAX West, the largest gaming convention on the West Coast, when a number of attendees were devoured by GameShark."I don't know how to put it into words—all I can say is...
Fall Bitches Already Fondly Gazing at Summer’s Sweet Demise
An entire month before the first day of autumn, the Pacific Northwest’s most cinnamon-popping, gourd-decorating fall bitches are reportedly already smiling at the crisp, graying sky outside as they note every detail of summer’s...
‘You Are Not Alone,’ Whispers KEXP DJ Standing Right Behind You
Seeing the need to step up its mental health support for its loyal indie music radio listener community during such stressful political times, today one KEXP DJ whispered ‘You’re not alone’ while standing right...
Carhartt Beanie Slightly Cheaper Than Hair Transplant
After carefully weighing his options for handling his receding hairline, today local middle-aged man Wayne Gilbert said he opted for permanently wearing a Carhartt beanie everywhere because it was slightly cheaper than a hair...
SeaTac 4th of July Fireworks Show Just Boeing Jets Taking Off from Airport
The delight of a dazzling SeaTac fireworks display quickly faded tonight when local spectators realized that the colorful explosions illuminating the Independence Day night sky were actually just malfunctioning Boeing planes attempting to make...
Seattle Underground Underground Tour Highlights History of City’s Mole People
Seattle's popular Underground Tour is set to uncover new layers of our city's history this fall when they open the Underground Underground Tour, which tells the long-forgotten story of the region's Mole People.
"We're so...
Broadmoor Family Celebrates Bastille Day Eating Baguettes Safely Barricaded in Multi-Million Dollar Home
Hunkered down in their bespoke panic room, one Broadmoor family said they aren’t taking their chances this Bastille Day despite living in an exclusive gated community.
"I don't want to skip our annual Francophile fête...
‘I Would Treat You Better Than Bears or Men,’ Says Sasquatch
Wondering why so many women around the world are limiting themselves to basic unpredictable threats such as a man or bear, today Sasquatch reminded them they have better options and should set their standards...
Alki Regrets Getting Statue of Liberty from Temu
As Seattleites prepared to celebrate 4th of July festivities around it again, today the West Seattle neighborhood of Alki finally publicly apologized for purchasing its Statue of Liberty from Temu.
“In our defense, it looked...
