Tennessee Lawmakers Ban Travel to Seattle After Learning About Utilikilts
After hearing reports about the popularity of the made-in-Seattle utilitarian, un-bifurcated garments, today conservative legislators in Tennessee announced a travel-to-Seattle ban to save their...
Oscars ‘Multiverse Stream’ Treats Viewers to Timeline Where Will Smith Slaps Chris Rock with Hot Dog Fingers
After struggling with ratings over the past decade, producers for the 2023 Oscars decided to experiment with a new “multiverse stream” format in which...
Indian Mom Influencers Ruin Holi Again by Only Letting Kids Throw Shades of Beige Gulal
Today a group of local Indian mom influencers once again ruined the Festival of Colors, Holi, as bad as mothers who ruin Easter egg...
Woman Goes Alone to FRIENDS Experience
In order to fully appreciate re-living memories from her favorite 90s sit-com, Friends, today Seattleite Kelly Dodge went to Pacific Place to wander show...
Critics Give Hump! Film Festival Two Thumbs Up, Won’t Say Where
Today local erotic film lovers were excited to hear this year’s Hump! Film Festival received a coveted two thumbs up from renowned film critics...
Grandma’s Old Shit Inside Downtown Public Storage Has Best View in Entire City
Longtime and long-forgotten Downtown Public Storage resident Mildred—who is a stack of mildewed National Geographic magazines waiting for you to make them into a...
Hot! 5 Easy Ways to Blend Ash Wednesday Cinder into Your Contouring Routine
Today, the beginning of Lent, is a day to not only be grateful for everything Jesus Christ sacrificed for our sins, but also for...
Eastside Man Still Thinks It’s Hilarious to Ask Partner to Make Him a Turkey Sammamish
After five years of living in Kirkland, Eastside man Todd Wesley still giggles each time he asks his wife to "make me a turkey...
Man Leaves Bookstore with Bounty of Zoom Background Decorations
One man celebrated his new remote position today by investing in a bounty of zoom background decorations from his local bookstore.
“I must have spent...
Kshama Sawant Touched, Horrified By Own Adorably Mass-Produced Funko Pop Figure
After announcing that she will not be seeking re-election to the Seattle City Council Thursday, Kshama Sawant also went on record to say that...
