Family Flees Airbnb After Ghost Writes Bloody List of Chores on Wall
One local family fled for their lives this weekend after a ghost haunting their Airbnb scrawled a bloody list of household chores they were expected to complete before checkout.
“We paid the outrageous cleaning fee...
3 Ways to Remember Bellevue Still Sucks Even Though They Have Snow Right Now and You Don’t
Even the most confident of Seattleites can sometimes waver in their faith that Bellevue truly and completely sucks at all times in every way, especially on days when they have snow and you don’t....
Man Dressed as Gandalf in Bikini Grossly Misunderstands ‘Sexy Fantasy’ Theme at Halloween Party
Standing out amongst a sea of scantily clad nurses and pizza deliverymen, one man allegedly gruesomely misunderstood the “sexy fantasy” theme at a local Halloween party after showing up as Gandalf in a bikini.
“Naughty...
Seattle Haunted House Terrifies Locals by Forcing Them to Interact with Strangers
Local Halloween aficionados all seem to agree that this year the most terrifying haunted house in Seattle is hands-down Georgetown’s Merry Manor, where strangers ghoulishly corner guests into small talk, eye contact and real...
Man Clearly Trying to Shazam Song at Funeral
After being given the benefit of the doubt for a full minute that he just had T-Mobile or something, a group of mourners realized today that one funeral attendee was clearly Shazaming during the...
Massive Workplace Morale Issue Magically Solved with Starbucks Gift Cards
Senior management at local company InnoPixel are celebrating this week after solving a consistent pattern of dissatisfaction among their employees by distributing $5 Starbucks gift cards to everyone on staff.
“For months I’ve been getting...
Elon Musk Taps Russell Wilson to Lead Twitter’s Cringey Viral Meme Unit
After firing half of his staff this week, Elon Musk announced today he’s using the social media company’s extra budget to tap former Seahawk and current Bronco quarterback Russell Wilson to be Twitter’s creative...
Green Lake Paddle Boarders Spotted Migrating I-5 South for Winter
Nature lovers rejoiced in Seattle today as massive flocks of Green Lake-native paddle boarders started their annual migration I-5 South to warmer California climes.
“Nature really is majestic, isn’t it?” said Kathy Robinson, hobbyist board...
15 Signs You’re Too Cozy To Go Out Tonight, Seattle
As the sun sets on Seattle, the dreary elements, seasonal depression and packs of wild raccoons descend rapidly on our fair city. The warm glow of your home will call out to you, its...
Local White Man Honors Indigenous Peoples’ Day by Taking Entire Day Off from Talking About Being Seattle Native
In a moving show of respect, sacrifice, and deference, today local white man Don Pudd honored Indigenous Peoples' Day by successfully taking an entire day off from talking about what a true Seattle native...
