Semi Bird Continues to Not Be Sue Bird
Despite their best efforts, several frustrated Washington state voters are reporting the unfortunate news that Republican gubernatorial candidate Semi Bird continues to not be...
REI Reports Record Sales of Affordable Housing
After years of struggling to survive stiff competition from online competitors, today REI said things were finally turning around for the company as it...
Tourist Trying Not to Look Like Tourist on Tourist Trip
Sources report that after planning a weekend getaway to Seattle from Sunnyvale, California, tourist Jane Simmons’ main objective on her trip this weekend is...
SoDo Costco Adds Second Gas Station Across Parking Lot for Members Who Empty Tanks Circling for a Parking Spot
Today the SoDo Costco officially opened a second gas station on the other end of its parking lot to help out customers who keep...
Biden Vows That Things in Gaza Would Be Different If He Was President
President Joe Biden finally took a tough stance on the continuing atrocities being committed in Gaza today, vowing that things would be very different...
Shocking Report Finds Cle Elum Actually Nowhere Near Enumclaw
Despite seeming like nearby rural cities that were both named by a pioneer named Cleetus, a shocking report released today confirms that the communities...
God Celebrates Joint Earth Day and Passover by Sending New Plague to Save the Planet
To celebrate the rare combination of Earth Day and the first night of Passover happening on the same day, today God announced he’d be...
Eldest Daughter Expecting Full Mother’s Day Brunch for National Siblings Day Disappointed Again
Eldest daughters nationwide awoke today expecting to smell the sweet scent of fresh cinnamon rolls and scrambled eggs of a full Mother’s Day Brunch...
Amazon Ends ‘Just Walk Out’ Shopping, Announces ‘Just Walk Out’ Layoffs
After Amazon announced last week that they are ending use of its “Just Walk Out” checkout-free shopping at its grocery stores, today the retail...
Boeing Kindly Offers to Fly All Whistleblowers to Their Court Dates on 737 MAX
In a show of cooperation with federal investigations and lawsuits questioning the safety of its plane assembly line practices and policies, today Boeing announced...
