Broadmoor Family Celebrates Bastille Day Eating Baguettes Safely Barricaded in Multi-Million Dollar Home
Hunkered down in their bespoke panic room, one Broadmoor family said they aren’t taking their chances this Bastille Day despite living in an exclusive...
‘Please Kill Me,’ Says Up House Begging for Sweet Release of Demolition
As Ballard and the rest of the Seattle community continued discussing for the 16th year in a row potential uses of the house that...
‘I Would Treat You Better Than Bears or Men,’ Says Sasquatch
Wondering why so many women around the world are limiting themselves to basic unpredictable threats such as a man or bear, today Sasquatch reminded...
Poll: Most Americans Would Rather Be Eaten By Sharks Than Live Through This Election
A new Discovery Channel poll today reveals a significant majority of likely American voters would prefer being devoured alive by sharks rather than live...
Half of America Celebrates Independence Day by Moving to Canada
Millions of Americans celebrated Independence Day today by patriotically packing everything they own up and moving out to live on their own in Canada.
“You...
Mount Rainier No Longer Accepting Walk-Ins
After trying for too long to accommodate her growing social media popularity and worldwide fame, Mount Rainier has for the first time stationed a...
Alki Regrets Getting Statue of Liberty from Temu
As Seattleites prepared to celebrate 4th of July festivities around it again, today the West Seattle neighborhood of Alki finally publicly apologized for purchasing...
Man Protesting Drag Brunch Actually Just Protesting Brunch
This morning a man many thought was a homophobe as he loudly protested a Pride Weekend drag brunch on Capitol Hill was reportedly actually...
Impressive Reckless Driving Record Scores Belltown Hellcat Job at SPD
After months of terrorizing and waking up Downtown Seattle with his insanely loud tiger-striped Dodge Charger that barrels down streets at more than 100...
Costco Launches New Kirkland Signature Branded Poppers For Pride Month
This week Costco left other companies celebrating Pride Month-themed products in the dust with the launch of its new wholesale line of cheeseball tub-sized...
